Auto rickshaw-walas have been an integral part of our lives. Love them or hate them, you definitely can’t ignore them! Although they might ignore you…
We must agree, no amount of mutual abhorrence can wound this evergreen relationship. In Mumbai, auto rickshaw-walas are more important than oxygen.
So without much ado, here are the types of auto rickshaw-walas we come across every day, rather, twice or thrice a day.
1. Mr Denial
He possesses the ultimate auto rickshaw-wala trait: the power of saying NO.
Chembur? NO. Mulund? NO. Jhumritalaiyan? NO baba NO!
No amount of pleading, badgering can make his NO become a YES.
2. The contemplating auto rickshaw-wala
So you think he’s going to say yes, you’re overjoyed and basically waltzing in your mind, but then he says NO. This is exactly how the conversation takes place:
“Check Naka chaloge?”
“East ki west?”
“Dono nazdeek hain, koi bhi chalega.”
“Wohi na jo Thane aur Mulund ke beech mein ata hain?”
“Acchhaaaaaa, woh!” *smiles sweetly*
*La la laaaa, finally I got a rickshaw. Yaayy*
“Nahi. Main toh Dadar ki taraf jaa raha hun.”
3. The proprietor
He literally fights over you. And you thank your stars for getting a rickshaw but then you’re just irritated with their ‘NAHI, WOH PASSENGER MERI HAIN‘ talks! Jeez, someone please decide and gimme a ride!!
4. The chutta-less auto rickshaw-wala
The ‘chhuta nahi hain’ theory has helped this guy earn at least an extra hundred bucks every day. It matters not whether you give him a 500 rupee note, a 100 rupee note or a 20 rupee note, this man never has chutta.
5. The rear-view creep
You have no idea why they have a rear-view mirror in a rickshaw. And whether it is a girl, aunty, uncle, boy, or just samaan, they will keep an eye on you…
6. The speed racer
It’s hard to figure out if the passenger is in a rush or the auto rickshaw-wala. In all likelihood we’d think it’s the passenger, but the evidence says otherwise. They are the F1 players in making. It’s sad that they don’t have seat belt provisions in rickshaws.
7. The BFF
He starts asking you about your life, your hobbies, your family. He’ll tell you about his children, show you his wife’s photo, share their romantic story. And you have to listen to him. You have to sympathetically nod at every sad story he tells you. I mean, how can his relatives demand so much money? That’s just cruel.
8. The DJ
He has his music on, loud remixes blasting out of the speakers and you don’t exist. And his speakers are probably worse than the songs he listens to.
9. The artist
Your auto rickshaw ride will be accompanied by a few pcccchhhh pccchhhh here and there because of their mouth which is overladen with paan/tobacco/gutkha juice/spit/mulch. You’ll witness a frequent spray of paan juice colouring the road and the smell will make you wonder, “Arre, aaj kal Pan Pasand goli nahi milti kya?”
10. The political analyst
This guy will have the absolute right answers for why Sharad Pawar is not the CM of the state and why Shiv Sena is stuck to Mumbai. He has advice for everyone from Kejriwal to Obama and all he lacks to become big in life is a degree and Inglis.
11. The Sane
It’s unfair to generalize, isn’t it? Because we’ve come across perfectly nice auto rickshaw-walas, who’re safe drivers, mind their own business, give us change and are silent for most part of the journey. And then you wake up from sleep…