Life is not rosy for trans-woman or Hijra on this planet. The prickly label of it through the painful discovery and self-acceptance is worsened by estrangement from loved ones and loneliness it brings on.
One such trans-woman recited a bitter-sweet story of self-discovery and then a proud fatherhood on Humans Of Amdavad.
Born a male in an orthodox family, his marriage was fixed as soon as he learnt to walk. In his growing years, he realised how different he was from the rest of the boys of his age. He consulted a doctor eventually and found out that he was a member of the third gender – a gender which neither has a place in public washrooms nor our hearts.
By 22, he married the girl his parents had chosen. Few years passed on and the guilt consumed him to a level where he decided to come out to his family and reveal his true identity.
As expected, the reactions were adverse. Now a ‘she’, there was no family, nor wife or the house. She asked the wife to get married again and turned her back to what she once called her home.
“Leaving my past behind I ran away to a place with no plan in mind, I didn’t know how will I earn a livelihood or where will my next meal come from. But I just wanted to run away from myself… till I found people like me…I was not accepted by my birth family and yet I found my family in other people like me. I started performing “Baddhais” at weddings and during the arrival of a new child.”
Life went on for her just as it goes for hijras – dancing, singing and being chided away from the world of normal people.
But then one day, someone knocked at her door and there was her wife with a young boy.
“The guy she married was an alcoholic and used to beat her every day… I was financially sound by that point of time so I gave her a place to live and said that don’t go back instead start filing for the divorce. Six months later, she got her divorce. I bought them a new flat…I would provide her 20,000 rupees per month for household and gave the finest education to her boy.”
Today, that boy has grown up to become an MBA graduate and married to the love of his life – all thanks to the hijra who couldn’t have fathered a child yet became the best father to his son. She is happy that she was able to change the lives of three ”normal humans”.
”I couldn’t become the best son to my father, and best husband to my wife but I am sure that I have been the best father to my son. Although I couldn’t father a child due to my intersex but life gave me another chance to become a father by bringing my wife and her child back into my life.”
Serendipity and kindness truly know no bounds.