They say, quit drinking but how can I? Whenever I look across a bottle, the innocent face, dream and hope of a brewery worker flashes in my memory. Now I’ve decided, I will not worry about my liver and I’ll gulp bottle after bottle to make his dreams come true. Let’s face it, get drunk, blast music, chase opposite sex, smoke a fag, yell at strangers, tear up the dance floor and live your life for a short but majestic burst. TopYaps, explores the ten most common moves of a drinker and also assures you to update it the next time when you’re drunk.
10. Get someone in bed:
This is especially true because drink always stimulates your hidden ‘wants’ to create a confident and relaxed ‘social situation.’ And fortunately, if you get the person you want to hook up with, then congrats dude, you’ve grabbed the chance of “a maximum return on a minimum investment.” No doubt, a s*x marathon is the best pill for those who are living in this world only to celebrate the ‘last longer’ weekends.
9. Lay down with cigarette and think:
Now you are high. A cigarette after drink amplifies your level of thinking and you flip in your own world of imagination. While exquisitely holding the fag between your fingers and flicking its ashes (something like Pierce Brosnan), you start thinking that you’ve really got the balls to “do things” (you can secretly kill even Osama Bin Laden in your mind like a video game). Oh boy, now you’re so sure of yourself that you can use any kind of technique to handle any kind of problem. Next morning you woke up with everything is okay but when you recollect your illusions of last night, it ends like that……damn!
8. Talking to strangers you don’t even know:
I bet, the company of drunken idiots is far better than an exclusive talk with a nobel laureate. It all happens under the influence of drink when your tendency of being an a**hole is washed away and you become an extremely talkative friendlier person. Okay buddy, my yapping is over…..let’s listen some of your tales.
7. Slurred philosophical speeches with retarded s**t:
No big deal because after gulping an ‘ideal’ amount of drink, you are heavily enlightened by your creative thoughts and craziest ideas. But sorry dude, the paranoid basket case of your spaced thoughts is generally beyond the perception of listeners because they can never figure out what the hell you’re attempting to transmit them in the mad high situation.
6. Search a secluded place to vomit:
Alcohol is the granddaddy of beverages when it comes to throwing up (pathetic reality). Now, when you’ve crossed your limits then it becomes pretty harder to assemble the intake in your tummy. The joy suddenly disappears and the wave of nausea make you forget that where you are. But man, you are master in making excuses. Suddenly your cell phone pops up from pocket and you are now serious like hell — “Oh, Mom is calling…..will catch up you guys after words.” You make your way so quick as someone has tucked the rocket fuel in your a**. After getting out, your first mission is to find an appropriate place where you can throw up like “everything” is going to come out from your mouth. Puke all over the place……the world is your’s. Cheers Hunk!
5. Unnecessary brawl:
Your alcohol-fueled muscle is the greatest life-threating weapon for others. You can wipe out even Ben Hur in one shot (it comes to mind only when you’re drunk), you can challenge Jackie Chain for a street fight and moreover you can overrule the power of an action hero where he easily knocks down the crew of deadliest fighters within matter of minutes. Calm down dude, go home, take a nap, wake up in the morning and count how many body parts are paining with s**t load.
4. Get extremely emotional and listen the most morose song:
The more you drink the more you become emotional. No doubt, you’re the happiest drunk ever but memory of your honey-bunny results in an emotional side effect and you desperately listen some patsy tracks to remember the golden-old-days of your life. The gloomy music actually helps you to deal with life. Emotions are weird!
3. Oh Internet……where are you:
Bingo! Jesus was somewhere happy so he gave us Internet superhighway. The online gibber of a drunk person is an amazing phenomenon in itself. Surfing Internet in intoxicated condition depicts that you will respect the owners of Google, Facebook and Microsoft until the day you die. While chatting, your words are God’s words, preaching pothead kids. And if someone asks you about something, your internal memory gets activated and you answer them like the animated dog of Windows Operating System.
2. Drunk dialing your Ex:
With flood of groovy images, this late night dignity destroyer process seems very pleasing. But man, result of the full magnitude of this awful action is extremely horrible. “I need you back”, “I miss you”, “I love you”, “I’m lost without you” blah blah blah are not just a common blur. Courage for these lines generate from liquid which is flushed away very next morning in your loo. Dude, the full-no-contact policy is often shattered by consuming couple of shots. Better to stay away from phone while drinking!
1. Dance like John Travolta of Saturday Night Fever:
To bust up the dance floor with your badass moves, you need some alcohol, donkeys**t music popping out the speakers and activation of the basic motor functions of your bod. Stumbling all over the place under influence of the “Holy father of all things”, you finally move in for the kill (don’t-need-to-remember experience).