So, she was all over you like a bee on a flower, but you blabbed something and she gave you an angry look that was enough to kill a puppy. Hands up dude! I don’t have a single clue about what to say and what to avoid in front of a girl. Since the points were out of my radar, I called up a wonderful friend of mine and asked her to render me a list of ten things to never say to a girl.
1. You’re so amazing, so nice, so this, so that, and blah blah blah.
Don’t praise her too much because it will lose its significance. She needs her space and, on the contrary, she may find it alarming since a majority of girls are raised to believe that if the guy pampers you too much, there is definitely a second woman.
2. How do you like my friend (who happens to be a girl)?
Well, this question is a cardinal sin. Boy, if you are buzzing around other girls – doesn’t matter if she is your best pal, then only God can save your a$$. You better know that jealousy in girls is an inborn quality and they can get jealous over anything.
3. Your attire is weird.
You’ve no right to expect your girl to be the epitome of downright perfection. Occasionally, she can bring out her best in terms of fashion but she’s not duty-bound to appear like a sensuous cover girl every time you guys meet. Make her realize you love the attire she wears.
4. Why are you crying?
Girls are structured differently than emotionally bankrupt guys and are prone to an emotional outburst anytime. Don’t say anything while she sheds tears; rather let her cry as long as she wants. All you’ve to do is to console her while she buries her face in your chest.
5. I’m good in bed!
So, you consider yourself a modern-day Casanova who can easily shoot down the “deed” power of even Warren Beatty, Charlie Sheen, Hugh Hefner and Jack Nicholson with I-am-the-sexual-pervert-with-no-off-switch overture. But, hold on cowboy! She too has the traits to smack down Amy Winehouse, Jennifer Ketchum or Amber Smith, and can turn a total-brain-shutdown material for you.
6. You look fat.
It is a universal truth that whenever a health-concerned chick is called fat, she promptly stores your remark in her memory to blackmail you emotionally anytime. Don’t jump into the swamp, otherwise for your entire life you will be treated like a monster for your insensitivity. Be it size 0 or size 40, she’ll be always JLo for herself.
7. What are your vital stats?
Most of the girls imagine themselves to be fatter than they really are, and can easily get tempestuous if asked about the body proportions. Doesn’t matter if her bod is paper thin or like a gigantic soccer player; your question about her figure can land you in trouble with no straightforward deniability.
8. Have you done it?
A challenge tossed towards any girl can turn into a grueling pain in the a**! Be it disposing a dead mice, killing a cockroach, opening tight jars or even jumping out of a plane, they are always in! A challenge makes a girl defensive. Remember, with this defensive attitude, she’ll argue you to the ground.
9. I love my mom more than you.
Indeed, you love your mom more than anyone else in the world, but whenever you’re with a chick, your matriarch suddenly becomes a surefire shot to turn her off. If she feels that someone (be it your mom) is taking your attention away from her then jealousy becomes an extremely difficult phenomenon to overcome.
10. Go to the kitchen.
Generally, girls hate cooking and see it as a tedious, monotonous and a repetitive process which takes them away from other gratifying activities. “I hate cooking” is also a powerful fashion statement for girls. Pal, beware of babbling this sinister thing to your girl because if she takes it seriously, she can cook the “whole world” for you.