Welcome to the bizarre world of television entertainment!
1. The hero and heroine dislike each other to the core, so much so that they would not hesitate to suck each other’s life out.
Nevertheless, ‘circumstances’ force them to get married.
2. The hero and heroine might not have physical relations till 1-2 years of marriage and might not even do so for decades.
3. In order to be happily married a couple must have a minimum of 5 children.
If they do not biologically, they would invariably adopt random children or have heirs through extra marital affairs.
4. The only positive settlement pattern is that of a joint family. Nuclear families are where the most evil and wicked people thrive.
5. The age of a lady can be determined ONLY by the parting of her hair: middle parting= young to middle aged, side parting= ageing
6. The more righteous a heroine is, the less her IQ
7. The wickedness of a vamp is inversely proportional to the width of the sleeve and back of her blouse
8. Temptations of having a lovechild are too strong to resist for an Indian man and his illegitimate son/daughter is sure to be back after 20/25 years to unleash fury upon their father’s family
9. The well being of a family is directly proportional to the illumination rate of its earthen lamp.
10. The heroine communicates with God through flowers falling from the idol’s hand or the language of lightening.
11. If a family has two daughters, it is 90% likely that both would marry in the same family.
However the younger sister is more prone to getting hitched with the elder scion.
12. No matter from how financially unstable family, the heroine hails she would definitely end up marrying into a rich family which lives in a house that puts a stadium to shame.
If not in the first attempt, then definitely in the fourth or fifth.
13. No heroine can conceive successfully in the first attempt. Either she would have a miscarriage or she would discover that she had not been pregnant all the while or she would be absolutely infertile.
And then it takes a minimum of 6 months for her to intimate her in laws that she is not pregnant in reality.
14. It is essential for the heroine to have long hair; if not she will have to don wigs no matter how fake she looks.
She also must be either naturally very fair or that by the virtue of BB creams and layers of foundation.
15. And ultimately, Plastic surgies are most the frequent medical transactions in India and have the capability of changing the height, weight and voice too.
16. And yes, being skilled in the art of making PowerPoint presentations would yield anyone the most lucrative of jobs.
AND bonus, courtesy, the Zindagi Channel
17. If you have a sister, beware of her intentions! You are most likely to lose your spouse/boyfriend to her in life
18. Recruiting help to seek assistance with household chores is the most evil act one can commit. It is the most condemnable form of sin.
19. Men are the most fickle minded creations on earth who are immensely gullible and susceptible to instigations by family members, flattery by other women and fraud by colleagues.
They have the supernatural power of choosing spouses and divorcing them at the moment’s notice.
20. Ambitious women are the vilest of divine creations and are better to be steered clear of at any cost.