India. It’s a comic book packed with over Billion colorful characters, each with Gazillion hilarious ways about them. Keep culture, heritage and history aside. There’s lots of Desi madness happening in our tremendous country; stuff that you just can’t experience anywhere else. And it’s a burden we wear with pride.
There’s no end to the types of problems we face. But neither is there a limit to the bizarre solutions we come up with.
It’s never easy Being Bharatwasi. But it’s nothing, when compared to Being a Bharatwasi-Outside-Bharat. And here’s why –
1. We can drive our bikes without a helmet, or even without a license. It’s a free country.
Just carry a 100 rupees note with you.
2. We can travel a thousand miles, and won’t need a ticket.
Railways are pretty considerate here.
3. We can block entire roads with extravagant tents to organize personal or family functions.
Roads become private property at a time like this.
4. And I can play the loudest music all day all night long. Nobody’s calls the cops complaining nuisance.
Mostly because cops are already there, having the time of their lives.
5. In India, we are automatically obligated to ask as many personal details of a fellow passenger’s life as we want.
We don’t suffer from insanity, we enjoy every moment of it.
6. We can carry as many passengers that can physically fit on a vehicle.
Because ‘Jako Raakhe Saaiyaan…’ and all that.
7. We can drive on any side of the road we feel like. And park wherever we want to.
Because traffic rules are for lesser mortals.
8. For us, the queue starts from the point where our friends are standing. Because it’s not cutting if I know the person.
and because I’m always in a big hurry.
9. And this.
Freedom at its peak.
10. And could any Indian living abroad eat Paan whenever they want, and spit wherever they want?
11. Or is there any country that lets us borrow electricity?
12. In India we can score 99% and yet be on the waiting list of our favourite colleges.
13. Here, we can proudly flaunt our original counterfeit brands.
14. We can throw any piece of garbage anywhere we want.
All we need is just one more piece of garbage already lying there.
15. In India, we can find the solution to any problem by jugaad. It’s an indigenous inbuilt talent possessed by us all.
We are clever and we know it.
16. Here, we have the right to stare at anyone we want, however we want and for as long as we want.
Foreigners, neighbors, strangers on a bus, handicapped people, large people and anything that falls in the definition of female. We don’t spare anyone.
17. We can go to any friend’s house anytime. We don’t need invitations.
And most of the times we are welcome too.
18. And we can treat their couch, their toys and their bathrooms, however the hell we want.
If it isn’t yours, you can use it, abuse it, break it, smash it, smoke it, nuke it. It doesn’t matter.
19. Here we can criticize our country as much as we want.
Because once we land on foreign soil, we can only see the great nation that is India.
…and the list is endless.