1. Neighbors give you curious glances
Every time you’re coming or going from your place, your neighbors stop and stare. Mostly they do this subtly, like pretending to stand on the balcony while you open your door.
2. Old-timers will ask to talk to a male
Whether they’re repairmen, neighbors, society committee people, they’ll usually glance behind you, look around and then ask, “Ghar main koi hai?”
3. Your balcony is a stage for your colony
Every time you step onto the balcony, people start looking at you. Aunties, uncles, their children – everybody looks at you like you’re something really bizarre.
4. Guys get a little too excited
Shortly after you move in, some guys in your neighborhood realize that you’re single and living alone. Then start the smiles, the accidental bump-ins, etc.
5. Thela-walas get disappointed
They think they’re going to sell fruits and vegetables for an entire family but then you end up buying just enough for one person. Oh the tragedy!
6. Insecure women lash out at you
For some women, a single female is a threat to their relationship, even if she shows absolutely no interest in anyone around her. They’ll do their best to make your life hell.
7. Everyone wants to know: Who’s that guy?
That guy who came to visit you – who is he? When he’s leaving, somehow every nosy neighbor is outside their door, trying to eavesdrop and figure out who he is.
8. You almost choke to death
At the last minute you manage to Heimlich yourself and then spend an hour wondering if you should just get married so at least you don’t die choking on food.
9. New jars and bottles are your nemesis
There are some things a guy is good for, namely opening sealed bottles. Sometimes you have to wait for someone to come visit you before you can eat whatever it is.
10. Bug sprays are your friends
You buy a new bottle when the old one starts feeling light because you know that when a huge spider visits during the middle of the night, it’s just you against the bug.
11. Someone idolizes you
While you’re going on with your life, you come across people who admire you for having the strength to live alone. And you’re like, “Really? It’s no big deal.”
12. Someone tries to change you
For people who can’t be alone for a minute, your life is like a tragedy. They’re constantly telling you to settle down and you’re constantly telling them to relax.
13. Sometimes you sleep with the light on
It may be because you watched a horror movie or saw something bad in real life. Since there’s no comforting presence around, you keep the light on to feel safe.
14. You have to make excuses constantly
Girls with boyfriends ask to use your house, dates want to come over for “coffee”, colleagues want to party – you learn to turn your landlords into Hitler. Heil!
15. Weekends aren’t all fun
You have laundry to do, bills to pay, things to get repaired, utilities to purchase, and a hundred small things that need your attention. Rest comes rarely to you.
16. You learn the meaning of freedom
Bras? Ha! Drinking beer alone at 2 am? Hell yes! Wearing clothes with holes? Why the hell not?! One entire day spent lazing around despite work to be done? You deserve it.