Although Bengalis are known to be quite cool people to have around, there are certain things which never fail to piss them off to the point of them waging a miniscule war!
So, if you happen to be around them or want to woo a Bengali girl/guy, or make them do any favor for you, you better avoid these cheesy lines or deeds.
1. Kolkata or West Bengal is not all about Howrah Bridge and Trams; kindly note.
If you’re interested to initiate a conversation with a Bengali, do your homework properly for the Howrah Bridge; and the trams aren’t the only things to go gaga over Bengal.
2. Come on, Maccher Jhol isn’t the only thing we crave for.
Wonder why all the Bengalis are always associated with maccher jhol! Yea, it’s like our oxygen but there are innumerable other fish curries too other than the staple Maccher Jhol for your information.
3. “So, you a bong?”
Ah, yes! And, you’re a shong!
P.S Shong, in Bengali, refers to a joker!
4. Never say a thing about Sourav Ganguly—Bengal’s “dada”!
Oh yes! He may commit a thousand crimes (well, if he does) but still, to most of us, he’s our favorite Dada. So, if you’ve any respect or love for yourself, then refrain yourself from saying anything against Dada to any Bengali!
5. “Why do you people go gaga over Mishti Doi?”
Because, no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to wrap up a dessert as tasty and light as Mishti Doi!
6. “How can you stay in Kolkata? There’s a strike every other day there!”
Ah well, can we get the facts correct? There is some strike or the other every 3 or 4 days—not less than that. Thank you.
7. “Why do all the shops in Kolkata’s neighborhood remain closed in the afternoon?”
That’s because we love to sleep—and, we’re not ashamed of shouting it out loud!
8. Never try to impress a Bengali without memorizing a poem or two by Tagore.
This is because, to us, Rabindranath Tagore isn’t just another poet with a Nobel Prize. He is God!
9. “Why are you not dusky with big eyes if you’re a Bengali?”
Well, this is simply because you’re no Al Pacino or Tom Cruise! Can you guys afford not to be stereotypical always? Better still.
10. “So! You a bong and yet manage to speak excellent Hindi?”
As if native-accented Hindi is spoken only in this part of the country! Tsk Tsk! *rolls eyes*
11. “So, what’s the reason behind this towering intellect?”
Well, your stupidity is always my gain, you see!
12. Always know the difference between the East Bengal Club and the Mohunbagan Club before conversing football!
…Otherwise, you may land in some serious mess!
13. “Why are you so laidback always?”
Well, because, “live life king size” is what we believe in! Stop bothering for it’s gonna be quite difficult for you to understand!
14. “…But Puri isn’t a part of Bengal”
Thanks for the piece for information but no thanks! We know our geography well! It’s just that you’re not quite a Bengali unless you have been to this sacred city at least a dozen times and spent at least 4 hours every day bathing in the Bay of Bengal!
15. “Why do you always team kurtas or sarees with big bindis?”
Well, it just creates a force that keeps freaks like you miles away! Simple!
16. “How can reading be a past-time?”
Just like irritating others is a past-time for you!
17. “Can we not have any discussion regarding the change of political “colors” in Bengal?
No! That’s Blasphemy!
18. “Why do you go gaga over Satyajit Ray?”
Because, among the “33 crores” of Gods and Goddesses whom we pray to, Satyajit Ray is one!
19. “How could your parents leave you on an all-girls’ trip for so many days?”
Shoo, you chauvinists!
20. “I simply love the way you people say “Ishh”!”
And, we really hate you for saying this particular line, and more for being wooed by a stupid Bollywood film sequence.
21. “How can you memorize so many Rabindra sangeet?”
Just like you’ve no qualms in memorizing so many filthy Bollywood item numbers! It’s just a difference in culture, you see!