Something odd and, honestly, quite alarming happens to Delhi come February. There is an influx of all things red — red roses, red heart-shaped balloons, couples in red pullovers and so on.
As it turns out, not every country celebrates Valentine’s Day on February 14. But whatever time of year it may be celebrated, Valentine’s Day makes its presence felt all over the world. Here’s how Valentine’s Day is, or has been, celebrated in some parts of the world over the past few centuries:
Meanwhile here in India, every year on Valentine’s Day, couples find a cosy spot — which isn’t an easy task in a country bursting at the seams with people — to just sit and talk, perhaps hold hands, go out on a romantic date. And then, in a manner that has now become customary, self-proclaimed Guardians of Indian Culture and Tradition descend upon them with lathis and huge vats of shoe polish and necklaces made out of shoes. These hapless lovers are then either beaten black and blue or they’re forcibly married in an impromptu wedding performed by, I’m assuming, the pundit said guardians bring with them.
I say, this Valentine’s day, LGBT couples should swarm Lodhi Garden and Azad Maidan and every other spot where these “guardians” tend to descend. If we’re lucky, the next day’s headlines will read:
Self-appointed moral police, blinded by righteous indignation at public displays of affection, married off 500 couples found canoodling in public places. 300 of these couples were seen celebrating with wild abandon moments after being “forcibly” married. Every last one of them gay.