Is There A Blurry Line Between #MeToo And Consent That We Tend To Overlook?

7:21 pm 29 Oct, 2018

Advertisement

#MeToo! For some, these small yet impactful words are like wings of freedom. While for some, it is a way of fulfilling their personal vendetta. Yet, there are also those who have confused this movement of freedom with something else. In India, #MeToo is slowly taking the form of a revolution and I am happy about the same. However, I can’t help but feel that there are cases where the tables on consent are turned when rejection appears in the forefront. In case of new-age ‘feminist’ Saloni Chopra that seems to be the case too.

Now, before you jump in to bash me of being a patriarchal shit, let me put forth the things that induced such a feeling in me. I think she is stuck in an era of pseudo-feminism, where being liberated means merging the fine line between being artistic and overtly sexual. Her pictures often speaks that.

 


Advertisement

 

View this post on Instagram

 

On this Independence Day, the irony is that I’m anything but Independent as a woman. My body controlled and censored, my thoughts banned and abused, my free will is limited to my breasts. ‘You can grow up to be anything my love, anything but a free woman’. You can grow up to be an engineer, runner, astronaut, doctor… as long as you keep those breasts covered. Because as a woman, your body, is the biggest threat to this society. As a woman, my body, belongs to each one of you. It belongs to your social platforms, your phones, your porn sites, your bedrooms, your brothels – it belongs to everything but me, hence you control what I do with it. To receive human rights, no one expects you to be Nelson Mandela – but to be a woman and desire equality they expect you to be Kaplana Chawla. So you cannot be just another girl who wants freedom to be herself. You must first become the first Indian woman to achieve something no other woman has, and then they respect you. If women weren’t so busy trying to hide their breasts or be ashamed of their periods, then you’d probably have MORE women achieve more things, and we wouldn’t constantly in the 21st century have ‘1st woman to have done something thousands of men already have done’ be such an achievement. So Happy Independence Day to ya’ll, but I think I’ll skip this one. You can censor my tits, but thank fucking god you can’t censor my words. Swipe right ➡️ for some serious patriarchal double standards. Because that’s acceptable while this isn’t. Thank you, @rahulb90 for doing this for me. You give me hope. I love you. #independenceday #india #equality #feminism #freethenipple #breakingstereotypes #fuckpatriarchy #women #bethechange

A post shared by Saloni Chopra (@redheadwayfarer) on

 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

2 years ago, someone decided to leave a comment saying ‘bewadi kuch Bhi likhti hai’ on a really serious post I’d written about humanity. It made me laugh. A brand (@wrap.on) started sending me T-shirt’s and phone covers with slogans made out of mean things people wrote in comments. It made my day. A year later, on a photo of me & my best friend @ibombets , someone wrote ‘bitches on the beach’ – and we literally cracked up so hard, we were still on the beach – bitches, well, I’ll take that as a compliment for now because any girl you cannot tie down or tame or control is a bitch these days. If she’s giving you a piece of her mind and she ain’t afraid to throw it back, oh what a bitch. Well, be a bitch. And what’s better than being a bitch? Being on the beach, with other bitches ✨ Moral of the story? There’s hate everywhere you go. School, college, work, friends, strangers – you cannot control the shit people do, and hence you’re not accountable for their filth. Learn to laugh it off sometimes. Next time someone insults you, make a song out of it. Write it on a T-shirt. Paint it on a canvas. Remind them, and yourself, that you wont fall down so easy. And anything and everything they do, defines them and not you. He called you a whore? That’s okay, I can’t remember the last time that was supposed to be insulting. They think you sell your body for money? Greeeaaat, at least you’ve got a job. 50% of bullying would stop being so harmful if kids stopped feeling so attacked and ashamed of the things others were saying to them. Bullies are the ones that should be boo’ed. Slut shamed? Slut is a word THEY invented, if anyone’s to be ashamed, let it be them too. Do what you need to laugh off other people’s garbage instead of opening your door and taking it all in. Your mind is not a bin, filter what you feed it. Tag a friend. Tell them they’re amazing. Fuck negativity. Fuck people that say awful things. Their silly ass behind computer screens is just lonely and depressed and if there’s anything you must do, its to pity them. As for me? Well, I like being bewadi. ✨ #weekend #beyou #positivevibes #selflove #bethechange #goodvibes

A post shared by Saloni Chopra (@redheadwayfarer) on

 

 

 

 

Women can dress up any way she likes. I believe that truly from my soul. Also, a woman has every right to embrace her sensuality. However, is feminism only about showing bare skin? I would like to think it is much more. Anyway coming back to the point, I was reading an interview of Saloni Chopra where she showered allegations on Sajid Khan.

Without going into the debate if the incidents actually happened on not, there are few things which felt odd to me. An excerpt of the interview read:

Sajid would tell Saloni how she was not “sexy enough to be an actress”. He offered to take her under his wing and prepare her for Bollywood. He even said that he would cast her in his next film, if she was ready for it. “A part of me wanted it so bad that I kept working for him, and excusing his behaviour whenever I could.”

If she is excusing his behavior in the aspiration of getting some result, then classifying it as #MeToo seems like an insult.

 

 

Another part of the interview, as reported by a publication read:

“This one time, during a costume trial for a character in the movie he came in to see the girl in the outfit and asked her to lift her skirt and show her ass to him, she looked at me confused and I asked Sajid if it was necessary. She lifted her skirt and he started insulting her telling her she didn’t have any breasts or any ass, how did she think she’d become an actress? Then he asked me to leave the room and let them talk, and I did.”

I have a question here. If someone claims themselves as feminist, then a situation like this is bound to conjure their anger eventually leading to protest. Why didn’t Saloni Chopra walk down the same path? True, there are times when situations can get really sticky. Judging solely by the words she said, it seems that she had the opportunity to raise her voice.

 

 

However, this one thing baffled me the most. The excerpt read:

“One night, it got really ugly. I was so tired of the calls and the constant harassment, I asked him what he wanted from me. I told him that if this was just about sex then fine, I’d come over right now and f**k him but provided he backed off afterwards and stopped calling me every day.”

 

 

Me too is all about giving a voice to those who were harassed or abused sexually and missed the platform to speak up. Instead of getting the calls blocked or reporting harassment, jumping into a proposition of sex sounds impractical. Especially, reading what Sajid replied finally waters the seed of confusion. This is what he said, as reported:

“However, Sajid yelled at Saloni and told her that she was “naive and stupid” if she thought it was just about sex. “This wasn’t about sex, it was about me being his little b***h and doing everything he told me to do,” she wrote. “He then said ‘you think I want to fuck you? I have such a hot girlfriend, why would I fuck a girl like you thats not even sexy?’”

To me, it sounds like a banter fueled by the sting of rejection. I might be wrong and I hope I am. No, I am not saying that the allegations against Sajid Khan are false nor I am saying they are true. I would rather love to see the women come up with concrete evidence to put him behind bars if found guilty.

 

 

However, this overpowering imposition of a feminist nature to pass on something as #MeToo when at times it felt like consent is unacceptable. I really am happy about the progress of #MeToo in India and want it to bring some constructive result instead of everyone trying to get their 15 minutes of fame.


Advertisement

I may be right or wrong but that’s a personal thought. The intention is never to demean or defame anyone but to raise a question. Is there a blurry line between consent and#MeToo that we often forget to consider. What do you think?


  • Advertisement