Our expectations of love, romance and sex have altered massively since only a generation ago: now statistics show that almost half of all marriages end in divorce. We’re all working longer hours and add to that high cost of living and – well, you get the picture. Romance gets moved to the back burner. So how do you avoid becoming a statistics? Hopefully, this page will go a long way to help you.
Emails are a great way to keep in touch. You can flirt in emails as the exchange is almost immediate, like a conversation. Send a romantic email just to say you miss her – even you are going to see her that night. Imagine she is standing in front of you and say what comes into your head is guaranteed to keep the sparks flying while you’re away.
2. Romantic dinner at home
Dinner is going to play a large part in your sexy evening. Pick on things you can feed her, artichokes with melted butter, strawberries and whipped cream, grapes (seedless if possible, spitting out seeds is not a good look). Pink champagne is especially effective. There is something incredibly sexy and decadent about it. Drink it in delicate glasses or straight from the bottle and serve with strawberries – heaven.
3. Holiday romance
All too often, rather than being a lover’s retreat, holiday stress our relationships. Perhaps it’s time to do differently. Whatever the weather, there’s a perfect trip to recharge your love batteries. Spring is a time for renewal and growth; a perfect time for reviving tour. Discover a new city together to learn new things about each other. Make the most of soaring temperatures and hot up your relationship. Miles of sandy beaches are perfect for holding hands and strolling.
4. Enduring allure
Slip into something sexy and buy your loved one a little gift and put every effort into seducing your partner instead. What could be more important than that? Make sure you take time to relax – you’re going to find it very hard to get in the mood if you are still stressed from today or worrying about tomorrow. Add spark to your life by thinking of each day as a day filled with sexy opportunities. For example, don’t just think of the bathroom as a place to shave or shower but a place to rekindle your romance.
5. Try kaizen
Kaizen is a Japanese concept that means, “Small changes, big differences.” Promise yourself that the next time you make love you will, as far as possible, work on the rule of differences – if you always start with kissing, try flipping your lover over and massaging their shoulders instead; if you prefer to be on top, then lie on your back, you’ll feel resistance, as your instincts will be to follow the same old pattern, but fight it: absolutely nothing is more ruinous to your love life than doing things more or less the same way more or less all the time.
6. Celebrate special days
The occasional splurges may seem expensive but it can re-energize you and your partner. Sometimes your relationship needs a life-changing day. Perhaps, you’re both sick of the same routine? Is husband having a hard time at work? Need to make your 25th valentine’s day as the first? Just moved house? Or the best reason of all: just because. Book the best suite in a nearby hotel. Waking up in a mahogany four-poster will make the most jaded couple feel like royalty. It’s the perfect start to a wonderful day, one without the hassle of work, chores, telephone or email. Use this day to do something totally different.
7. Domestic detox
At the beginning of your relationship did you sit down and decide who was going to take out the dustbin every Wednesday evening? Vacuum the lounge? Cook Sunday dinner? In a lot of long-term relationships, one or other member suffers from what we call “victim of your own success syndrome.” One partner always reads maps or does the big drives because he – sorry, but it usually is a he – is better at it than she does. Of course, he is: he’s put in the mileage. But if you share the job around, her second best can become joint equal.
8. Cheap thrills
When was the last time you held hands and went walking at sunset or in the morning? Or has played hide and seek? Or truth or dare? Or sardines? Time to make a list of things you’ve always wanted to know about your other half but never dared ask: think up some steamy forfeits and enjoy a night in with a difference. Have an art house or blockbuster home cinema night. Rent the first film you watched together, make mountains of microwave popcorn and turn your sofa into the back row. You can also drive down memory lane. Window tour places that have special memories: where you went on your first date, had your first kiss, proposed, your favorite restaurant or view, wherever makes your hearts beat faster.
9. Wonderful tonight
Give your old flame first-date butterflies with a makeover that brings out the best in both of you. Wouldn’t it be great if you could take the afternoon off and spend it at a spa before meeting your partner in the evening? Most of us can’t do this very often, but you can achieve a similar effect in about twenty minutes. Guys, pop into an old-fashioned barber for a really close shave. Ladies, befriend a department store makeup counter assistant. Say something like, “I’m happy with my look for work, but I want to look foxier in the evenings.” You’ll get a free makeover, using all the latest tricks and techniques. Test some new perfume as you got out and you’re set to WOW him.
10. Try to treat each day as an adventure
It’s a terrible old cliche but lives each day as if it were last. Instead of thinking “God this is dreadful, I hate this commute” think “I wonder what or who is waiting around the corner?” Take something exciting with you like a novel full of steamy sex and adventure – it will at least get the imagination of your fellow commuters going. Adopt the same approach in your relationship. If there is a choice of what to do at the weekend, always go for the most eccentric one. Things like ice skating or a picnic in a boat work better than a classic dinner out.