1. Why what will you achieve by being a writer? Log kya kehenge!
2. Why are you always so silent? You MUST talk more!
3. Dude, you gotta support the government. We are a democracy.
4. There’s no hope for you/him/society/country anymore. Time chala gaya.
5. Why do you want to join the army, son?
6. Nobody changes. You should know that.
7. India’s poor love the Congress. Garibi Hatao, Garibi Hatao.
8. How can I be free?
9. Politics is the best way to serve your country.
10. All good scientists are atheists.
11. The universe is beautiful. God is a woman.
12. IIT phir IIM phir Wall Street. Life set.
13. My favourite writers have more Booker prizes than your favourite writers. I win, sort of.
14. I hate the Xs. Xs are different than Ys, which is what I am. I think.
15. You gotta fit in. You gotta make an effort, you know.
16. I eat to live, not live to eat. If you know what I mean.
17. Exercise is for suckers.
18. Absolute Power is the root of all corruption. I read that somewhere.
19. Nonviolence is for the weak.
20. Everyone has the iPhone. Except me. I should just die.
21. You’re such a Leftie. These Lefties have ruined everything.