Airports are boring, let’s all agree to that. You literally have nothing do to. You’re just sitting there pointlessly feeling as apathetic as ever. People who spend copious amounts of time travelling, in order to not get bored, indulge themselves in scrutinizing the other passengers.
Here are some types you’re bound to have come across at least once.
1. The late arrivals
When you hear their ragged breathing and a whooshing sound, you know you’re going to hear an extremely interesting story about a dog, a vegetable vendor, an apocalypse and a ghost somehow responsible for the person’s inability to reach on time.
2. The “do you know who I am?”
These are some extremely important and famous people. Only that, the junta doesn’t know them neither does it care. But we’ll give them the benefit of doubt.
3. The transit travelers
These are the people whose flights are either delayed or they have to make a connecting flight. It’s easy to spot them. They’re the ones with huge dark shadows beneath their eyes and looking half hungover because of no sleep.
4. The Hipsters
They’re the ones who flaunt the just out of bed look. Loose tank tops, torn pajamas, disheveled hair and groggy eyes, it’s their definition of cool. You start to wonder how this look ever made a fashion statement.
5. The giant rolling suitcase struggler
You’ll always find a person disproportionate to the baggage he/she is carrying. Either he is extremely prudent and is carrying only a pouch worth of material for a month long trip or she is extremely indecisive and ends up carrying her entire wardrobe and three times the cosmetics, not to mention, at least twelve pairs of shoes. For a half day picnic.
6. The jewellery overload
They always get caught by the custom people because of the gold and diamond and titanium and other metals and stones and hold up the security line because of their earthy attachments.
7. The red carpeters
High heels, makeup, perfect hair and a super tight I-can’t-breathe dress. They’re all set for a red carpet event. Too bad, they don’t have coolies at the airports because we doubt they’ll be able to manage their baggage.
8. The awed passengers
They stare at everything with wonderment and pure joy. Probably their first time at the airport. They may make the mistake of ordering food without asking the price.
9. The hogs
You’re sitting quietly reading a book and a family comes and sits right next to you. You look up and out comes the khakra, faafda, idli-vada, samosa, a few armful of chocolates. You have no choice but to move away from there, either because of the overbearing smell or because you don’t want them to know you want their food too.
10. The “cool” coffee people
These people buy the most ridiculously expensive coffee. They ooze high status. But really, no one aspires to be able to not feel stupid for drinking airport coffee.
Airports are places of great transit. Airports bring the unnatural out of you like nothing else. These are probably the most depressing and sterile man made things on the face of this earth. And the annoying unnatural white bright light freaks the bejeesus out of most of us. What kind of people do you meet at airports?