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An Open Letter To Guys Who Become Stalkers, Rapists And Kidnappers

Updated on 1 July, 2016 at 11:34 am By

Hi frenemies,


I saw one of your faces on today’s newspaper while my mom’s voice lingered in the background. Neither of the two holds any novelty.

I see your face everyday. More so, I fear your face everyday.

In fact, my parents say they do not have any ‘control’ on you or your actions but they do have control on me.

Hence, whenever your face travels from Page 5 to Page 1 in bold, capital headlines, I am issued new commandments.

”Don’t go out late. Come back on time. It’s not safe. You know how things are in Delhi, right?”

Oh, I mean the ‘Rape Capital’.

When you fall for a girl, you fall hard. You call it ‘love’ . So you stalk her everyday, ‘tease’ her and when nothing works, you kidnap her. Sometimes, if that too doesn’t work, you rape her. I really want to ask you something – What is your motive behind it?


Do these things satiate your soul? I am not talking about guilt or self-condemnation here, for I suppose those emotions don’t come with the kind of psyche you possess. I just mean to ask you if the motive is to make her fall for you?

I am sorry to burst your bubble here. But I, being a woman, can promise you a life of non-satiated thirst if this is what you believe.


Don’t even tell me you are inspired by Bollywood movies.

If Shah Rukh in ‘Darr’ inspired you, the climax should also have told you how it never leads to a happy ending. You have to know, there were movies of Shah Rukh where he swooned the ladies with his charm by being a gentleman. You know, try that.


Try being a gentleman once. It works!

You say we girls are averse to friendly conversations. Oh no, we are not. I’ll let you in on a secret. When you stand on the side in deep silence, one of us really wants to come and know your story. But we don’t. You know why, right? We have been told ‘not to talk to strangers’. We are afraid.

We are afraid of talking to you – because of you.

You have made this world a place of fear.

Because of you, we are living in a world where the victim is victimized and where friendly women become “seductresses”.

Because of you, I didn’t wear a short skirt on that hot summer afternoon. Because of you, I didn’t go out late at night and my guy friends never understood why. Because of you, I never dared take public transport post 9 PM. Because of you, I have never stayed back in office past 8:30 PM. Because of you, I have never walked on that lonely lane behind my house at 1 AM when my heart felt too heavy to stay inside.

Because of you, every morning I defend my city, in front of my Mom.

Because of you, my city is termed as a ‘Rape Capital’.


Is it a city’s fault? Do you guys come categorically caste- and religion-wise?

I think we have lived and believed in your fear for so long that we trust you’ll always be who you are.

We trust you to stalk us, grope us, kidnap us, and rape us.

In Mumbai, you guys seem to act much more in ‘control’. Women are said to be safer there, after all. Why, if I may ask?

It may be that you are used to see women in skirts and dresses late at night in Mumbai. May be, Bollywood has to do with it. May be, it’s a common sight to see a bunch of women laughing unafraid on Mumbai streets as comfortably at night as in the day- and so it doesn’t disturb you.


But when you spot that one woman in a city where no one dares to walk out at this hour, it disturbs your sanity and ego, I suppose.


And so, you leap on her like hungry wolves.

Again, did it satiate your soul?

But I think a lot of it is our fault too. You asked us to be afraid, we stepped back and agreed. So, during the day, you might not dare to do the things you’d do at night because a larger bunch of us support you by staying inside once the sun goes down.

You planted a tree of fear and we watered it daily.

Par ab kya karein?

Why don’t you help us to find one true happily-ever-after love for you? Trust me, you deserve that one good woman.

Let her find you? Let her come out of her protected shell? Make some space for her in your night bars where you end up disappointed about not find that one gem of a woman. Let her start a conversation with you on that silent by-lane? Let her join you in one of your late-night walks?

She’ll find you, trust me.

At least, for the time being, stop chasing. Give us a world which even we have the permission to call our own.

We promise you, it’s much better and beautiful with us being out there – with you – unafraid.

With warmest wishes,

A Delhi Girl


Disclaimer: In no way does this article intend to support the inhumane act of people who commit such heinous crimes. The idea is to understand that the external forces cannot make any substantial changes till the time the ‘villian’ community is done away with. No matter how stringent the forces become, we cannot have an ideal, fearless world for women till the time their psychology is evolved. This article’s intention is only to create a deeper understanding on their mindset and to be able to contribute one bit to maybe, reform them. 


The unfortunate state of today’s society is that if two criminals are arrested, two new are born.To be honest, you can’t kill them all. If anything, you can stop more of them to be born everyday.  


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