So you found your daughters diary while cleaning her cupboard. Will you look into it or will you keep it back at its place?
While you reserve the answer to yourself, let us tell you that ideally you should not peep into it. Remember the time when your mom looked into your diary and you felt so violated that you promised yourself never to do it to your own child. Now when you have a teenage daughter it is time to live up to that promise. You should respect the privacy of children who have never given you reason to distrust them. If you want your daughter to grow up into a respectable adult, teach her to respect by example. However, if your child displays an odd behavior, you have every right to discuss the problem with her and work out a solution together.
A mother daughter bond has all the potential of developing into a strong one. Mothers sometimes re-experience their own lives in them. Handling the different growing up stages in your daughter’s life is not easy. But by developing a supportive and close bond from day one will guarantee an easy ride in teenage. An enduring base is a must for a fruitful healthy relationship.
Read on more to know how to ensure that you are your daughter’s closest confidante –
6. Polish Your Listening Skills
Once your daughter enters teenage, your role as mother changes from care giver to someone who cuts her slack for making her own set of mistakes.
Support her in the opinion making process and let her have one, even if you don’t agree with it. Focus on becoming a great listener and not a rave critic.
5. Ask For Her Opinion on Matters Related To Her
When your daughter comes home and narrates her best friend’s affair to you, do not be ready to shoot off your opinion. Instead ask for hers, since she already knows yours on it.
Listen to her answer carefully and try not to be judgmental. Remember she is giving you a compliment by sharing her friend’s secret with you.
4. Keep the Doors of Communication Open
The dicey conversations are those that involve adult issues. In a very delicate manner remind her of your opinion of them and be ready to hear her judgment as well. And there is every chance that she might not agree with you.
And you are being unreal by expecting her to, in the first place. She should feel free to express her thoughts without the fear of you censuring them. The policy of agree to disagree will bear ripe fruits in the future.
3. Trust Her Enough To Make Her Own Mistakes and Learn From Them
If you have taught your daughter the difference between right and wrong from day one, half your duty is done. She also knows by your actions and words that you love her like crazy. SO now, let her climb the steep learning curve on her own and make her own set of blunders. Let her bloom into an adult, step back and let her learn it on her own.
Do give your opinions and let her have her own too. Don’t always be ready with advises, allow them to think for themselves. Trust our own parenting skills, and trust them to make the right decision at least 80% of the time. Give your daughter the gift of eternal love by allowing her to be free and make her own blunders.
2. Do Not Try To Be Her Biggest Critic
On finding out that your daughter is doing things you don’t approve off, don’t go around threatening her and making demands of overnight sweeping behavioral changes. This scenario is more of a challenge for you than her. It is a test of the childhood bond and can only be dealt with respect and tact.
Technically she will always be a child for you, but practically she’s almost an adult now. If you try to dictate her as a child she is sure to rebel. She might agree on face but be sure of delusion behind your back. Never try to control her,as you will fail miserably. Instead try to keep the communication open and look for an amicable solution.
1. Prioritize Wrongs and Right
It is obvious that both of you will not agree on everything. And there is no point in making every issue a battle of wills. The parent is more to blame here than the child. If the parent becomes overly strict and inflexible in teenage, he stands to shatter the parent teen relationship forever. Demand complacency from the child depending on the importance of the issues. And be ready to lose a battle here and there, in exchange for steady wins.
Let go of small petty issues like how much make up to wear, how long to talk on the phone or what to wear. The important thing to remember is that the child should feel loved and supported at every step of the way. These will become cherished memories that she will carry to her grave. Be ready to give love, respect and compassion and you will get truckloads of it in return.