1. My existence would have been so colorful. No, not exciting, just filled with bright colors.
2. I’d have an annoying bunch of chirpy friends who’d show a stalker-like obsession with my life.
3. I would have grown up singing songs about meeting my Prince Charming.
4. When I’d finally meet him, I wouldn’t recognize him because he really isn’t charming. AT ALL.
5. But then fate would keep putting us together in more and more embarrassing ways.
6. Since we both behave like juveniles, it would take us forever to figure out we’re in love and not participants in ‘Mortal Kombat’.
7. We’d have our own piece of music and the weather would be our bitch.
8 Meanwhile, he’d commute to office and back in BMWs and choppers.
9. Prince Fuckwit and I would behave in horny ways but not just have sex. This is India, yo!
10. But then someone else would come along and create a messy love triangle.
11. Heartbroken and in less-bright clothes, I’d wallow away, confiding in some grown up with no life of their own.
12. As time would start to heal me, Prince Fuckwit would come back into my life.
13. We’d rekindle our romance – behaving once again like horny teenagers, forgetting all past hurts.
14. But there’s one final hurdle. He leaves and I stand undecided, then rush to meet him with breasts flying all over the place.
15. Song yo! With everyone we ever met dancing along because they’re so happy that we’re happy.