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10 Palate-cleansing Bollywood Movies For People Who Were Tortured By Valentine’s Week

Published on 15 February, 2017 at 1:26 pm By

It’s that time of year again, when sunshine and rainbows and unicorns give way to a deluge of couples — clad in red, holding hands, staring into each other’s eyes, making promises of forever, exchanging red roses, heart-shaped balloons, and OMFG truckloads of chocolates. Basically, it’s that time of year that makes many of us heave.


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So, as a counter measure to all the PDA one has been subjected to in the last week, or so, here is a list of anti-Valentine movies all us V-Day haters can spend the next week watching. It’s a brilliant way to cleanse one’s palate after the shamelessly loathsome lovey-dovey atmosphere that seems to have engulfed the planet this past week.

So, here goes…

1. ‘Ek Hasina Thi’

It’s high time Indian women took a leaf out of Matondkar’s book (or really, that of her character in ‘Ek Hasina Thi’) and decided to give back as good (or, as horrid) as they’ve been getting for centuries.

 

2. ‘Baazigar’

Okay, I don’t agree with the idea of killing an innocent girl just because her father’s a prick, but the rest of the revenge thing, not bad!

 

3. ‘Darr’


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Achha, this movie’s toomuchonly! But it does make a very good case for why Indian girls should totally learn self-defense and, maybe, even carry guns.

 

4. ‘Anjaam’

Shah Rukh’s insistence on playing psycho-stalker-lover makes you wonder what Gauri saw in him. Par kya karega?!!

 

5. ‘Khoon Bhari Maang’



This is one of the best revenge-sagas Bollywood ever wrote. Except the part where she needs a man to come help her finish the job. Not cool!

 

6. ‘Pyaar Tune Kya Kiya’

When Shah Rukh played psycho lover, that was because, well, his character was nuts. Urmila’s character in this movie is anything but. It’s the rather tragic tale of what blind faith will do to you. So, being in love is A-okay, but keep your eyes wide open, yeah?!!

 

7. ‘Dev D’

Best version of the Devdas story ever told. Puts love, lust, alcoholism, jealousy, the whole shebang, in perspective. Bam!

 

8. ‘7 Khoon Maaf’

One of the finest roles ever portrayed by Priyanka Chopra. Or, well, seven of the finest roles. It’s the story of the things we do for love, and the many many ways in which love can come bite you in the ass, regardless of all that you may have done for it.

 

9. ‘Gupt’

Let’s face it! It’s a little hard to believe two women would fall head-over-heels in love with Bobby Deol. That one of them would even go so far as to kill whoever gets in the way of said love, is even harder to stomach. But, well, Bollywood be Bollywood.

 

10. ‘Aitraaz’

“Inspired” by Sidney Sheldon’s ‘The Other Side of Midnight’, ‘Aitraaz’ is a watered-down version of a really good story. In its attempt to keep the hero sparkling white, Bollywood wasted its chance to create one of the strongest female characters of all time. In the original, as in Bollywood’s warped version, this is a cautionary tale about love and trust.


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