There’s nothing better than waking up with more than half your day gone, a drowsy look in your eye and the bed sheets screaming, “Come back to bed, I’m so comfy!” Ah the life of a lazy person. Some envy it, some despise it. But in truth, lazy people are really happy, mostly because they’re content being that way. Wanna know if you’re a lazy person? Check out these sure fire signs of being lazy:
12. Buying un-necessary things to make your life easier
There’s nothing that screams lazy more than having a large number of un-necessary things in the house that help you do things which are pretty simple to do anyway! It’s an exponential phenomenon; laziness leads to more laziness and so on. More often than not, it’s pretty hilarious too.
11. Taking a break often, especially when things get serious
When you’re lazy, who cares about what’s going on around you? It’s time to get lazyyyyy! Another sure tell of a lazy person is taking a break every 15-30 minutes when in the middle of something and sometimes even when things really heat up. It may surprise you but even firemen can be super lazy.
10. Approximating things in life
You know what’s fun about being lazy? It’ll help you spot other lazy people really easily, and then the two of you will become best friends. You know a person is lazy if he can’t put in the effort to find out concrete facts. Like when someone says, “India’s probably has the second highest population in the world” or “The report is most like inaccurate.” When people just assume approximations to things in life, the laziness flaunts itself so evidently!
9. Procrastinating everything
There’s no bad time to stop being lazy, but when you’re in that zone, everything else takes a back seat. I mean come on! Isn’t being lazy better than anything else in the world? Procrastinating simple activities makes you an avidly lazy person. The only thing you probably won’t procrastinate is being lazy.
8. Getting someone else to do what you’ve been assigned to do
Now I know what you’re thinking, “Doesn’t that just sound like a manager?” The answer…is yes and no. Managers can be lazy, but being lazy won’t necessarily make you a manager. But yes, there are similarities. For example, when you’re holding a phone in your hand but you make your friend call the person you have to speak to. Now that’s a classic sign of laziness, but it’s executed to perfection with a hint of deceit and a dash of stealth.
7. Using the lift/escalators instead of the stairs
Stairs are a lazy person’s worst nightmare. Why just last week I remember waking up panting and out of breath. That’s when I realized that I’d dreamt of walking up a flight of stairs. Yes, probably man’s worst invention albeit inadvertently. Why climb the stairs when you have something that’ll take you up without burning a single calorie?
6. Falling asleep in any position
This one’s my favourite, and I’m sure everyone has a friend who can just fall asleep, no matter what he/she is doing. It’s amazing how their body can shape around whatever they’re sleeping on, just like water. They may not be able to touch their toes without bending their knees, but they’ll pull of the most ridiculous yoga poses in their sleep, you can count on it.
5. Too lazy to walk, I’ll just use the car
Even if you aren’t lazy, I’m sure you’ve taken the car/bike to a store that would have taken less than 2 minutes to walk up. It’s called a “locomotive attack”. It’s kind of like a panic attack, but for lazy people with regard to moving. No wonder car sales never drop in spite of the threat of global warming and fuel shortages. Lazy people, you make the world go round.
4. You house looks like the local garbage dump
I think people confuse being massy and dirty too often. Being messy is a strange yet effective habit, being dirty is laziness personified. Ever visit a lazy person’s apartment? It’ll look like it just got rummaged by a tornado! While the place is a mess, it’ll be dirty as s***; the dishes are overflowing, the garbage is scattered all over the floor, there are stains on their clothes, the room smells like it’s been decomposing for years….basically just disgusting. Some people take pride in this actually.
3. Messaging or texting the person in the next room from you
You know what sucks? Legs! They cause so many problems like walking, muscle contraction and expansion, energy usage, etc. Imagine a world without legs. Wouldn’t it just be perfect? Maybe then we’d have perfected drones and robots to go around and do our stuff for us. Thank god we at least have cell phone. Who knows what we’d have done if we weren’t able to call or message a person 10 feet from us????
2. Holding your pee for an inhumanely long time
And the winner for holding in his/her pee the longest goes to….that lazy guy! Trust me when I say lazy people count how long it’s been since they first had to pee and high five themselves when they finally make it to the bathroom. It’s like god created lazy people to defy the laws of nature. You know when a lazy guy finally decides to take a leak? When he’s absolutely sure that his/her not peeing right then will lead to a urinary track infection.
1. When sunlight burns your eyes
Another interesting phenomenon vampires and lazy people have in common; they’re both afraid of sunlight. As a matter of fact, I think lazy people prefer being nocturnal if you ask me. Stupid sun with it’s stupid light always hurting the eyes and warming the body. Who needs that? The ultimate tell for a lazy person is when you give them a sketch pen and they don’t remember what shape the sun is.