1. All squeezed out
Since we’re all females, no one cares about space issues and we end up so cramped that we can barely breathe.
2. Bipolar attitude
Patiently stand in lines at Rajiv Chowk until doors open, then there’s a mad rush with a lot of shoving and stomping on feet.
3. Overheard conversations
Irritating love demonstrations with boyfriend (“Tee hee. Chal chup kar batameez“); fights with parents (“Kyun nahi ja sakti main?“); obvious lies (“Abhi main ghar pe hoon“).
4. Playing games on smartphones very badly
So badly that I feel like screaming that that was the worst move I’ve ever seen, but I can’t, because we’re supposed to pretend we’re not looking.
5. Reading erotica/romance books
This is equivalent to men watching porn on the metro. One glance at a page throws up phrases of “heaving bosoms” and “deep thrusts”. Super embarrassing to even glance at.
6. Judging each other’s attire
As soon as there’s any space in the metro, we all check out each other’s clothes, shoes and bags. If caught, we pretend we weren’t looking.
7. Cat fights
Sometimes these erupt for no reason whatsoever. Or something silly like, “You’re sticking to me!” Hello, it’s crowded! Sometimes it ends with one saying, “Some people have no manners.” Other times it becomes a pointless shoving match…because there’s really no space for a proper fight.
8. Noisy/Giggly girls who assume that everyone is interested in their lives
They talk at this loudspeaker volume about some party or incident that we’re all supposed to be impressed by. If someone checks them, that person is automatically jealous of how fabulous these girls are.