10 Reasons Why It’s Important To Find Yourself Before You Find Someone Else

author image
Updated on 5 Sep, 2017 at 8:14 pm

I am 22 (soon 23!) and I have never had a boyfriend.

I do rant about the single life. I do have friends ‘sympathizing’ and calling me ‘too picky’ for not having found anyone yet.  And I sometimes think,”Eh, am I really an idiot?”

But NO! I am not. I have seen people picking themselves up too late. Too late when the time has run out and when their hearts are too burned out.

The point is you will HAVE to look for yourself. The choice is yours. You want to do it after being torn away from your innocent heart or you want to save yourself the mess. Be patient and choose the latter!

1. The cliche ‘No one can love you till you love yourself’ is true

As cliche as it may sound, it is an absolute truth. You need to be in awe of your personality, your heart and yourself before you ask some else to be. Self- appreciation and confidence are not mere words. They are instruments to your being.


2. To love yourself you need to be aware of yourself

You have spent a lot on coffee dates only to be disappointed in the end. Try going on a few coffee dates with yourself. You can’t fall in love with yourself till you open the realms of your mind and heart and explore your endless ideas.

3. How can you find common interests when you don’t know yours?

If filling up the ‘interests’ section gives you horrors, it’s time you got to know yourself better. If you don’t know what is your favorite drink, how can they get you one? If you don’t know what is your idea of a perfect date, how can they take you on one?

4. Let love not be a tool to fill emptiness

You hop from one to another only with a lingering hope of bumping into the right one some day. Honestly, it’s not a science experiment. Love will slowly lose its meaning for you. Know what you really want before blindly drowning into yet another relationship.

5. You can’t build castles on air

If you really want to find someone you want to spend your life with, you need to be clear about your OWN goals. You need to have a dream of your own. You cannot live his dream forever. You will eventually feel worthless.

6. Bad relationships are NOT better than no relationship

Now, we’ve watched all the movies where the scarred girl is all about drugs, sex and beats the ‘No love’ song. You don’t want to be that. Moreover, please burst the myth that being alone is for losers. They are the cream winners who know not to jump at the first sight of a stale bread.

7. If you know yourself, you can have a GREAT connection

When you are informed of your choices and interests, you make for an amazing conversationalist. You will have ideas and thoughts. People will love to hear from you. In fact, they will learn from you. Doesn’t that make you feel proud?

8. You don’t want to be someone’s shadow

When you haven’t found yourself, you hide behind the sun. You make the other person shine brighter and eventually, you feel faded. Truth is, you’ve never had your own light. This isn’t love. This will make you pull them down too until you break apart.

9. You will never feel threatened

Sometimes, there are others who flirt with your love. But most of the time, it’s your own insecurity. Insecurity stems from lack of self assurance. And you won’t be sure of yourself till the time you know what assures you.

10. Time is not running out

Often you settle with whoever because everyone else is getting hitched or maybe because it’s so uncool to not have a boyfriend at 18. I understand the pressure. But you can’t sit and find someone. You need to keep going out to meet someone. Also, your education or your career won’t see the other side of the day. For them surely, time is running out.


So please. Give yourself time. Have engaging conversations with yourself. Sip the coffee alone. Read stories to yourself. Day dream and get excited to live life on YOUR terms. Hug yourself to sleep. Kiss your pictures.


Because you wont get that diamond on your ring till the time YOU are shining bright enough!