Since the late 2000s, we have seen an insane rise in the number of bikers. While most of India rode on two-wheelers, the marketing of the newer generation of bikes by various brands and through movies like ‘Dhoom’, have turned bikers into unlikely tin-pot celebrities.
Here is a list of 15 types of bikers you are likely to come across anywhere in India.
1. Mom’s Nightmare
This is the biker that gives a bad rep to most others. Going without a helmet, dangerously maneuvering in traffic and going fast at the mere sight of the opposite sex, this biker is better left on his/her own. Often caught breaking rules and bones.
2. Grandmother’s Delight
The exact opposite of the one above, this one makes safety and slow riding his/her identity. Safe enough to be entrusted with granny riding pillion, this rider is the Gandhi of the road.
3. The Story Teller
This person has so many trips of the Ladakh, Kaaul, Pondicherry, Mysore, Orissa trips they have done on bike and the weather that was a problem and the people who were amazing and the hottie they shagged and how they got stranded at the border of Nepal and blah blah blu blu. You wish they would get on their bike and leave you alone.
4. The Overhyper
This person has probably ridden a lot, is part annoying storyteller but is a hundred times worse. Yes, this person has some useful skills if your bike ever developed a snag, but the kind of snob value he/she carries because they ride, is unbelievable! At ever bike trip, there is ALWAYS a person who boasts, “I have oil for blood…” If the person doesn’t, their lackeys definitely do. And it is fuck annoying.
5. The Pseudo Biker
The exact opposite of the last two, this person has actually never converted their biking fantasy into reality. All they do is imagine riding by the rivers, the ghats and the sea. They never get down to doing it. Most of the times, they don’t even have a bike. Or if they do have one, it comes with a nagging mother/wife/gf.
6. The I-Used-To Biker
Everytime this person chances upon a biker or a bike, they launch into stories of how they were daredevil bikers who went from home to college and one single bike trip in their entire lives.
7. The Family Biker
The eternal Indian family biker dad carries first the wife, then the wife and kids and some of their friends too. If you think Mumbai locals are crowded, you have to see the great India iron butt challenge.
8. The Ideal Biker
Ah! The perfect balance between safety and maneuverability, this biker can do Mumbai to Goa trips as well go down to get bread and milk on Sunday morning. And no, they are not especially interested in being storytellers.
9. The Loner
This biker doesn’t like riding in a pack. To ride at one’s own pace, taking breaks as you want, stopping to smell a flower or to click a photo or just have a cup of chai, this biker prefers his/her own company rather than the safety of a group.
10. The Pillion
This biker is a non biker. Either the parents’ don’t allow him/her to take the family heirloom bike or this person cannot ride at all and ends up going pillion on a zillion bike trips. The better ones of these pay for petrol.
11. The Orgy Biker
Exactly opposite the Loner, the Orgy Biker will ALWAYS travel in a pack. It is a little difficult to qualify this person for out and out biker status since riding solo is part of the code. And no, these are not the cosy group riders. These folks ride 50 together at least or no ride at all.
12. The City Mosquito
Vrooming around on small engined pick up machines like the RD 100 or the Splendor, these people achieve their dreams of GP racing on small city straights. The sound itself let’s us know this is much ado about nothing but we still dread the sound of a vehicle accident crash reaching us soon after. At least, that is what mom suspects.
13. The Professional
Unlike those who take time off from work to ride, this biker rides for a living. Either a tester, a racer, a stunt biker or owner of a biking club, this person does very little of anything else. The worse ones of these are Over Hypers.
14. I-need-a-better Biker
This person may have an Activa or an Aquila, no matter which bike they ride, they want a better one. With more power, better cornering, better road grip & weight and better fuel consumption with a Sudarshan Chakrra to vanquish enemies and a missile launcher underneath the luxury toilet under the seat. Get the picture?
15. The Machinist
This is the least of the bikers, defined not by their own passion for the road, for exploration and for seeking experience, but because they just bought/got gifted/inherited a particular type of bike. Their biker life is only as long as the duration of their ownership of the particular machine. Their heart is not a biker heart. Only their self image is.
These are a lot of types of bikers you will see around you. Which have you seen that we have missed?