To give up on life is sometimes the easiest thing to do.
Yes, it is. When you are bounded by failures, the mind loses its ability to think straight and you feel that each passing moment is a moment of suffering. And some people, to end this suffering, end themselves. They often don’t realize that there will be a better and a happier tomorrow. They dwell in a hopeless feeling that suicide is the best option to break away from their dreadful circumstances.
And that is what this guy had thought of but at the same time, he had the courage to pose this question on ‘Quora’:
Many of us would have faced a more or less similar situation in our lives. And at the moment, we hopelessly waited for someone to support and get us out of this fatal trap. And fortunately, this guy found his savior in one of the answers by another ‘Quora’ user.
Read the answer and you will realize that failure is not a permanent thing but a necessary phase.
He started off by telling about his poor score in 12th Standard:
Let me tell you my story!
I had been a good student among the toppers during school days till 8th. I entered the 9th standard, life seemed tougher, had a few friends leave school and had a tough time with the assholes in the class. I managed somehow to clear my 10th exams with 64%.
During the 12th exams, I studied till 12 at night got up at 3am with the help of a neighbor friend, whose mom used to wake him up at 3am and so I slept at this place to get up early. My family didn’t realize that I needed a peaceful place to study. I studied in the kitchen hearing sounds of tv serials, cricket match and family discussions, making it hard to focus my mind. All this hard work and I fell ill during the board exams.
I somehow managed to give both the Maths exams which were at the end. And just managed the passing marks. In the CET entrance I scored a good 140/200 but had only 49.3% in the PCM group, throwing me out of the engineering race. I had to tell my father, despite his huge hopes on me. He took it well!
Through his father’s strong support, he joined the B.SC course:
I joined the(Computer Science) course. Due to my low percentage, my father had to pay extra to get me the admission through management quota to get into college. It was a shame for me, because my father had worked really hard and could barely manage the family expenses. The fact that he had to get me admission that way, hurt me bad. Made me angry on self, I had to put the anger at the right place by working harder. The sad story continued, I found it hard to make some good friends at college, despite a good personality and decent sense of humor.
In spite of all his hard work and sacrifice, he failed again:
What was the result of all this? I failed. And it broke me like something, didn’t come out of my room entire day of the result and didn’t wanted to come out for a long duration, I felt the same way you must be feeling, should I end it and how would I tell Dad. It was unbearable and whatever I had dreamt of myself, all felt in vain. When my dad was back home, he saw the report card. After a hefty day of work, he managed the patience to talk to me.
His father yet again stood by his side and accepted his failures:
He just told me a few words “You failed, but your limbs, still exist. Your brain is the same, you can choose to work with me in the business, give your efforts there, change your stream, go for Commerce and make it easier for yourself, You shouldn’t punish yourself with something stupid, like even staying quiet”, he added this gem of a line, which supports me everyday “No situation is bigger, than you, you are bigger than every situation, situations just make you realize this, you will know when you get through the end of this journey”.
As we grow older, our parents do too. They too learn parenthood day-in and day-out. If you can’t realize this and would just be in the fear of him being angry on you. Imagine the fear he would have to send you on your first day to school or your first cycle ride or a motorcycle ride. Once you grow up, its your responsibility too, to show them the right thing, if you are certain that they might take it wrong.
He continued his studies but this time without fear:
With torments of a lot of people. Friends that I had to leave behind. Seeing the decline of myself in front of my eyes everyday. And depression at a young age. I didn’t chose to change the stream, instead, I went on with what I had chosen for myself my(Computer Science) degree. I had been alone at home for 6months till I could give the first attempt to clear the subjects I had flunked in, C2, M1, M2, M3, E2. I checked what was wrong in me, and I found that I had too much of exam fear. I worked on this day in day out, alone without support(I have been shy always of letting my feelings to my parents or even friends. So never shared much really!). Cleared 4 subjects and was left out on C2 which happened to be on the day of my birthday and I suffered from Flu which left me in bed for 3 days.
He joined BPO and gained more confidence:
Those days were the worst days that I have seen till date. A 17 Yr old alone at home, afraid of meeting people because he would hear torments. I chose to join a BPO, worked there for 3 months, made friends had some time working well, had 500 outbound calls a day, it was frustrating, because out of all those calls only 50 would be answered and 49 would hang up, before you say a word. But that gave me peace in a way. I was making sense to myself and learning the world better. Those experiences of the BPO even help me today. Then came the date for the second attempt to clear the remaining subject. I cleared it scored a good near distinction figure.
More so, he completed M.SC degree and then came the “Eureka” moment:
Rejoined college had distinction throughout, went on with mydegree, hadn’t been great here just managed to clear it through with an aggregate 60% that too due to good performance in the last semester. The gem in all this, and this was my triumph, I was the first one to get through the campus despite just meeting the criteria of the company that I was chosen for(It is one of the best startups in India), this was a day all the pain had gone away, like me coming out of a COMA.
I just remember the happiness on my dad’s face when I told him, I had got the job. I had been given a perk and congratulated by the HR “Welcome to XYZ”. Those were 8 hard hours and a competition between 300 odd students. I was among the 3 who got selected and was the first one to be handed the offer letter. I had been paid handsomely, giving the ability to support my family.
Sadly, another setback came when he lost his job:
Let me tell you another twist, A few days back I lost my job in the current company. I am the one who takes care of the family completely now. With responsibility of 5 people on my shoulders. But those words by my dad still make me forget the pain and make me work hard. “No situation is bigger, than you, you are bigger than every situation, situations just make you realize this, you will know when you get through the end of this journey”. I had told him even this time and another gem came from him, “You did it once, you will do it again. There’s no point in me being tensed, because you know the importance of responsibilities and you must have it in a higher degree.
If you are not one of those selfish people who doesn’t care about his family and chose to die, think again your 1, 2 or 3yrs of hard work might have failed you, but if you chose to commit suicide, you fail their 23-24 years of unselfish hard work of your parents.
Wish you luck dude and hope you make it through with great colors!