The hookup culture in India is still in its raw stage buts it is picking up a fast-pace. Says who? You might wonder can a ‘sanskaari’ country like India indulge in such a scandalous thing, right? In a country, where pre-marital sex is still frowned upon and used as a character assessment yardstick, how can someone even think of casual sex?
Things are especially bad for women, who, if (she) engages in sexual activity before marriage, irrespective of whether she is in love or whether it was ‘casual’, would be considered promiscuous and the chances of her having a stable relationship or getting married start to dwindle.
Well, irrespective of these schools of thought, here are some facts to wake you from your stupor of the supposedly ideal picture of India you seem to be carrying around.
In case you missed it, there is one point which says, “India is the app’s largest market in Asia”. But you might argue that ‘Tinder’ is not a platform for sex. It is a simple dating app. It is, yes. But here’s an interesting activity for you to figure that out.
Go to your Google search and type in ‘biggest hookup platform’ or ‘biggest hookup app, and see what you get as your search results. Believe me, I was as shocked as you are. While we are on the subject, here another trivia for you. Did you know platforms like Shaadi.com had to introduce a clause which says ‘no sex allowed’ because people started using matrimonial apps for hooking up too? True story!
Here is another interesting (read shocking) fact for you. Less than half of non-virgins in India admit that their first time wasn’t with their life-partners. So, how’s that to prove that pre-marital sex is on the high!
Call me conventional, but I’m still one of those (few) who believe in the idea ‘one true love’ and ‘soulmates’. The problem with the hookup culture in India is not that this generation doesn’t believe in love, but that they don’t believe in waiting for that ‘one true’ love. Even if they do believe in it, they don’t mind ‘experimenting’ until they find them. This experimenting is what the leads to hookups and casual sex.
Another major part being played here is by ‘technology’ and the resultant plethora of dating apps. Meeting someone new has become so much simpler and easier that the whole ‘meeting someone for the first time’ charm is completely lost. You know pretty much everything about that person before even meeting them. And ‘love at first sight’ too, has become ‘love (rather lust) at first virtual sight’ now.
What happened to ‘meaningful conversations’ or ‘getting to know each other’? That stage is conveniently forgotten or takes a backstage, because all we’re interested in is ‘getting laid’. The reason and explanation are simple, why should I invest emotionally in you by trying to know your likes and dislikes or frankly anything about you? We won’t last, so why does it matter anyway?
Could the reason for this also be the abysmal state of sex education in our country? Most teenagers and young adults get their knowledge about sex through peers, and let’s admit it; that can’t be trustworthy or even authentic. So losing virginity isn’t about love but rather knowing what sex is all about. Where is love in this one is forced to wonder.
Looking back a few decades, to our parents’ youthful days, or even our own (90’s kids) school days, the charm of that ‘first crush’ that ‘first kiss’ is all gone, don’t you feel? Leaving aside the ‘sanskaar’ or ‘not Indian culture’ bit, there was a particular rush to waiting for that one text or phone call, right?
Most of the hookup culture generation is also afraid of heartbreak and the emotional baggage that comes along with a serious relationship. Which is probably why they would rather have a ‘fuckbuddy’, a ‘no strings attached’ or a ‘friends with benefits rather than a serious, long-term relationship which takes more time and efforts, and of course comes with emotional baggage too.
I’m not ‘for’ or ‘against’ such a hookup culture, but if we compare it with what relationships used to be, aren’t we regressing instead of progressing? What are your views on this?