‘Friendzone’ is such a comforting, brutal term. It warms your ego because it tells you how you were a nice person to be their friend. It’s brutal because it also tells you how you were not nice enough to stand a chance to be more than a friend. It’s a highly debatable term because some find it absolutely non-existential and some find it absolutely gender biased.
Humble reminder: I am a woman; expect a gender biased rant. Also, I am writing this assuming your girl crush has spent considerable time with you to call you her best friend. In case you are still a work-in-progress, continue being nice without listening to your boys whispering ‘Friendzone’ in your ears.
Here is why I think ‘Friendzone’ is a complete trash and was only created for the following reasons:
To crack jokes
Let’s admit, this term makes absolute hilarious and sarcastic jokes. You can crack them up to your best friend when he doesn’t pay you back your money, you can post it on your social media account as a meme to get maximum likes and you can definitely use this as a witty, double-meaning punchline to make your point heard to your best friend who zoned you.
To convince your bruised ego
There can be a number of reasons why your girl best friend who adores you otherwise didn’t reciprocate your feelings- off timing, lack of connection or plainly to be put- you simply didn’t fit in. But nah, nah. Your smart-ass attitude won’t admit it. If your girl crush is not a gold digger, chances are she always thought of giving you a chance- until your nasty joke, immaturity or simply your lack of understanding ruined it.
To convince yourself of your niceness
‘Nice guys finish last’ -whoever said this is a douchebag who never learned to be nice. We girls, unlike the guys, hardly suffer from commitment phobia. We may test the waters by tip-toeing but when it comes to one real chance, we won’t lose it or save it for the end. So if you were really nice to us, trust us, we would have given you a chance. And if we didn’t, you probably need an introspective session.
To make one last attempt
When everything else fails, emotional blackmailing works. When you and your friends keep reminding her of your misery to be in the ‘Friendzone’, it’s your sly attempt to tell her how apparently a nice guy is finishing last. This immediately overpowers all the reasons why she initially cut you out of the race. I think it’s a fantastic attempt at manipulation which lures a lot of women in out of plain guilt and indebtedness.
The thing is, there is nothing like ‘Friendzone’. Stop making friendships sound like a ‘lost game’. Considering the flakiness of relationships these days, you my friend, can any day break through the ‘friend zone’ if you work on your niceness. Or who knows, you find a better connection somewhere else?
Either way, discard the term ‘Friendzone’ from your life if you no more want to be in one.