After the horrible mass molestation incidents took place on the new year’s eve, people around the nation started cursing the molesters, the government, and the society. Another insane thing that started trending on social media was #NotAllMen. People silently just ran away with this hashtag showing that not all men are same and just a handful of them are there who are responsible such gross deeds.
Really? If not all men are doing things like this then how all women are being molested every other day? This hashtag was the ridiculous thing to trend. Rameez Shaikh with his apt Facebook post absolutely nailed what people failed to understand about #NotAllMen.
Pick female friends at random — anyone from your friend list, really — and ask them if they’ve ever been groped, molested, or sexually abused. After you’re done hearing their multiple horrific stories, ask yourself a simple question: do all of them dress in the same manner? Speak in the same manner? Smoke, drink, have tats, piercings, or do whatever is deemed against our ‘culture’?
While writing such powerful lines he made a comparison to which no can ever disagree! he wrote…
As a man, you can walk shirtless in a street thronged with 50 women without the fear of as much as being touched. Can a woman do that in a street full of men?
This is what he exactly wrote in his post…
So, let’s get this straight: a bunch of men grope, pinch, catcall, and molest women amidst police protection, and the best you can do is say “BUT HEY NOT ALL MEN!”? Really?
There’s this hullaballoo about the things Indian men are taught about women, and while that is problematic, my biggest concern lies with the things we’re not taught about women. More specifically, my biggest concern lies with the fact that we’re never taught to respect a woman’s consent. As an Indian man, I can vouch for the fact that not once — not in school, not in college, not at home, or anywhere else — has anyone educated me about consent. If anything, incidentally, it was quite the opposite. Being in an all boys’ school, I know that most boys in their teens view women as objects with tits that exist solely for their sexual gratification. And anyone who disagrees with me can head straight to the boys’ washroom in any school and gawk at the graffitied walls, full of naked teachers and the things these boys would love to do to them.
In college, I watched my seniors pour water down a girl’s cleavage. “It’s Holi, she won’t mind, plus her tits are fucking sexy lol,” I heard them chuckle after. I remember being nervous about a date in my teens, when a senior walked up to me and nonchalantly said, “If you get a chance, just stick your fingers into her cunt. Trust me, she’ll resist at first, but once it starts feeling good she’ll give in eventually.”
That’s the sickening mentality we grow up with. And if you’re sitting there thinking, “But hey not all men because I don’t think like that”, then fuck you, get your ignorant ass off your moral low pony, because this is the reality of every single man out there, which, unfortunately, makes it hell for every single woman out there too. I concede that we’re all victims of patriarchy, but as you sit shirtless, scratch your balls, and shout “NOT ALL MEN” from behind a screen, you fail to realise that women are the only ones who bear the brunt of it all.
And if you still can’t wrap your head around it, here’s what you can do: pick female friends at random — anyone from your friend list, really — and ask them if they’ve ever been groped, molested, or sexually abused. After you’re done hearing their multiple horrific stories, ask yourself a simple question: do all of them dress in the same manner? Speak in the same manner? Smoke, drink, have tats, piercings, or do whatever is deemed against our ‘culture’?
As a man, you can walk shirtless in a street thronged with 50 women without the fear of as much as being touched. Can a woman do that in a street full of men? As the Bangalore incident proved, they clearly can’t — and they don’t even need to be topless for it to happen.
There needs to be a change in mentality, and that can only come with accepting that there is a problem. Choosing to prevaricate instead, guys, isn’t the solution at all.
Here is Rameez’s original post…
He perfectly slammed the mindset of saving oneself that people have these days. Also, Rameez unveiled the hypocrisy behind #NotAllMen. Being a male, he has spoken such bold things in favour of the other gender and it’s absolutely applaudable. Today, people living in our society needs to understand the things that are going wrong, instead of fighting to prove that they are not like the one who is doing wrong in the society.
Did you like what Rameez wrote? Are you in the favour of his views or against it? Do share your views with us in the comments section below.