Seventy four countries around the world see homosexuality as a crime. In countries like Sudan, Iran, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, it is even punishable by death. In India, too, the issue of rights of gay men and women is a Pandora’s Box, and many a times legal decisions about them take place without the consultation of the main stakeholders and all they can do about all the legal arguments and counter arguments made on their behalf is to stare blankly at their future uncertainty and get emotionally drained.
Here are 7 more emotions of homosexual people that straight men have no clue about.
1. They need to ‘come out’ throughout their lives.
They need to constantly ‘come out’ whenever they meet someone new. Making the world aware of their sexuality is never a onetime thing but it goes on and it is exhausting. And every time, they need to tell the person in front of them that they don’t have a husband/boyfriend or wife/girlfriend, because they are not into opposite genders. They need to make a calculation in their heads beforehand about how they might react and then decide accordingly if they should tell the truth, lie or change the topic.
2. The ‘firsts’ in their lives often come very late.
Though there might be exceptions, for most homosexuals, even their ‘first’ kiss can take an awful long time to come, when their friends are already having children. A lot of factors contribute to this phenomenon, like their narrow scope to date people who are homosexuals too and social stigma. Many a times, their entire 20s and 30s are spent hiding their sexuality because of their fear of homophobia.
3. They are not at all obsessed with straight people.
Call it homophobia or call it misconceptions, but a lot of straight people feel insecure to spend time with someone who is gay alone in a room or even in public toilets. They just get overly worried when they should understand that just because they prefer someone of their own gender doesn’t mean that they (gays) are going to hit on them. They perfectly understand who is what and respect everyone’s spaces.
4. They need to be very careful while showing affection towards their partners.
It is incredibly difficult for gay men and women to express their affection in public. They cannot even go to a restaurant for a dinner date without attracting curious eyes, especially in a seriously conservative country like India where even homosexuality is a crime under section 377 of Indian Penal Code, forget about the existence of gay clubs in the country, which are the only ‘safe places’ for them to show public affection without fear.
5. They have double the things they use everyday.
One of the amazing upsides of being homosexual and in a relationship is that they have double of everything that they need. They can easily use each other’s clothes and apparels and no one would even have a clue. But this also has a downside. Sometimes, one partner wears something of the other one and goes out while the other partner was planning to wear that on a special occasion and now has to settle with something inferior.
6. They often live in utter loneliness.
Straight people don’t understand how difficult it is socially to be gay and that it is an everyday struggle. They often get very lonely without friends or someone who could understand how they feel. They are not accepted conveniently in social gatherings, temples, mosques and churches and even if they are, they are constantly being judged and followed. Also, it takes years for gay people to discover their true sexuality without an iota of doubt and it is a huge emotional struggle.
7. They are often misunderstood by straight people.
For gay women in particular, it gets very difficult to make straight men, who are hitting on them, understand that they like women. A man who approaches a lesbian woman cannot fathom the fact that the person he is interested in is not interested in men altogether and many times become rude thinking that she is just making an excuse to send him away and doesn’t give up very easily on her.