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15 Hilarious Doctor Jokes That Will Make You Have A Good Laugh On National Doctor’s Day

8:21 pm 1 Jul, 2018

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The National Doctor’s Day is celebrated annually to recognize the contributions of physicians to individual lives and communities. The date of celebration varies from country to country. In India, it is celebrated on July 1 every year to honor the legendary physician and the second Chief Minister of West Bengal, Dr. Bidhan Chandra Roy, who was born on July 1, 1882, and died on the same date in 1962.

The celebration of the Doctor’s Day is an attempt to emphasize the value of doctors in our lives. India has shown remarkable improvements in the medical field and July 1 pays a perfect tribute to all the doctors who have made relentless efforts towards achieving this goal.

 

However, in this article, we will not be talking about doctor’s contributions or value in our lives but of something else, i.e. doctor jokes. Take a read at this 15 hilarious doctor jokes that will sure to make you have a good laugh on National Doctor’s Day.

1. Doctor joke on drinking

Patient: Doctor, doctor, You’ve got to help me – I just can’t stop my hands shaking!

Doctor: Do you drink a lot?

Patient: Not really – I spill most of it!

 

2. Joke on pregnancy

Man on phone: My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Man: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

 

3. Joke on cancer and Alzheimer’s

Doctor: I’ve got very bad news – you’ve got cancer and Alzheimer’s.

Patient: Well, at least I don’t have cancer.

 

4. On giving pills to a psychiatrist-patient

Psychiatrist (giving some pills): Take these and you’ll feel much better.

Man: But there’s nothing wrong with me, it’s the rest of the world!

Psychiatrist: Yes, I know, but it’s easier for you to take the pills than the rest of the world.

 

5. On husband’s drinking

Doctor: Madam, please prepare your husband for the worst!

Wife: Oh God, will he die?

Doctor: No. He will not be allowed to drink any beer!

 

6. Joke on pulling out of the tooth

Dentist: Don’t worry, it will take me only a minute to pull your tooth out.

Patient: And how much will it cost me?

Doctor: 100$

Patient: For a 1-minute job?!

Doctor: If you prefer, I can be pulling it out for one hour.

 

7. On eating carrots for the eyes

Patient: Doctor, is it true that if I eat a lot of carrots I won’t need glasses?

Doctor: Sure, have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?


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8. On being poisoned

Doctor: There are no doubts – you have been poisoned!

Patient: For goodness’ sake, with what, doctor?

Doctor: Don’t worry, we’ll find that out during dissection.

 

9. Doctor with a lying patient

At psychiatrist

– Do you consume alcohol?
– No.
– Do you smoke?
– No.
– Do you use drugs?
– No.
– Do you play cards?
– No.
– Do you run after other women?
– No.
– So why did you come to me?
– You see, doctor, I have one little problem – I lie a lot.

 

10. On being a specialist in plastic surgery

Man: Doctor, this bucket has a hole. Would you please repair it?

Doctor: Are you stupid! Do you know who I am?

Man: Yes I do – you are specialist in plastic surgery

 

11. Doctor joke on drinking water

Doctor: Yous should take at least 10 glasses of water every day.

Patient: It is impossible.

Doctor: Why?

Patient: I have only 4 glasses at home!

 

12. On doctor’s bad handwriting

Patient: Someone decided to graffiti my house last night

Doctor: So why are you telling me?

Patient: I can’t understand the writing. Was it you?

 

13. On treatment with pneumonia

Patient: Doctor, are you sure I’m suffering from pneumonia? I’ve heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally, he died of typhus.

Doctor: Don’t worry, it won’t happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia.”

 

14. On earning of a doctor

A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.

Doctor: This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a doctor!

The plumber quietly answered: Neither did I when I was a doctor.

 

15. Those in healthcare organization are not different when it comes to laziness.

A woman gets into a taxi:

Woman: To maternity hospital, please.
After a while she asks the driver: Do not drive so fast, please, I’m working there.

 

Which doctor joke do you find most interesting and funny?

Sources of the jokes: Work Joke, Funny Jokes Quotes
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