The evolutionists teach us that we have travelled a long distance to come to our present form. Like at one point of our time, we didn’t need our tails anymore as we had started living on the land. So, our tails vanished.
Similarly, according to the theory, our body has adapted itself to suit to its environment and that’s why today we are here, alive and ruling.
But sometimes, it feels like our body has done a terrible job while adapting. For instance, we should have teeth that are indestructible. But instead, they are fragile. Bacteria can ruin it in a short while. And the worst part is, they grow only twice. It appears like the crocodiles did a great job there.
Here are 13 ironies about our dear body that are purely annoying:
Me: So I accidentally bit my cheek. Now what?
Body: Quick, cheek, swell up! Make yourself easier to get bitten again.
Me: Come on!
Me: I fall down from stairs
Brain: Alert! Alert! Alert! Let there be pain in that place to ‘signal’ that moron that there is a problem in that part of the body.
Me: Calm down dude! That’s too much pain you are sending. The pain will kill me if not the problem. You are supposed to save me.
I see my crush
Me (internally): I should hide my emotions so that she doesn’t know I have feelings for her.
Body: You need help buddy? Let me help.
*cheeks become red. Eyes function abnormally*
She (nervously): Why you are blushing? OMG. I need to go!
Me (screaming internally): Thanks for helping me hide it.
Me as a teenager: I am so horny. I think I will never be so horny again. I need to get laid.
Body: So you have entered adolescent? You must be very horny. Let me make your face like they have caught fire and ugly as a toad so that girls run away from you.
Me: Butts are so sexy!
Body: That is also exactly the place from where poo comes out.
Me: So I am on period.
Body: Time to get horny.
Teacher: Eyes are developed before lungs so that we can see clearly in water.
Body: That’s only true till you are in womb. Better wear glasses to see under water when you are out.
Me: But what wrong I did? I don’t smoke!
Body: I have no clue either!
Me: Wow, peanuts!
Body: PANIC! PANIC! PANIC! That’s the most dangerous thing on Earth. Don’t eat it or I am going to shut down your organs.
Me: So I have malaria.
Body: Jesus Christ! I need to heat up as much as I can to kill all the germs.
Me: Oh God, you are not killing germs. You are killing me, idiot.
Me: That’s so tasty!
Body: That’s unhealthy.
Me: Ok. This one? This looks tasty too!
Body: That’s unhealthy too!
Me: This one?
Me: Is there anything that’s tasty and also healthy?
Body: No, buddy!
Me: I want to get the best sex.
Body: Remove the protection.
Me: Also, I don’t want to father a child.
Body: Wear condom!
Me: Do I deserve absolute satisfaction?
Body: You need to sleep at least 6 hours to remove the tiredness!
Me: Great! How about I sleep for 15 hours. Will I get supercharged?
Body: No, that will make you tired.