Arranged marriages are not forced marriages. But they can almost certainly prove you to be a loser in many ways.
There’s a line of fears and horrors that arranged marriage brings to the table.
1. Do I have to wake up early in the morning and sleep late?
This fear is more than justified if you’re getting married into a joint family.
2. Is he 100% sure I’m the one, or is it just because his family chose me?
Ok, I’m also agreeing to this arrangement, but what if you’re seriously not interested and just said yes because you were asked to.
3. What if he’s a Momma’s Boy and never listens to me
Nothing and no one in India can supersede the Indian Mother; she is the biggest fear for any bride-to-be in an arranged marriage.
No matter how pretty, talented, fun-loving you are – if she doesn’t think so, he won’t either.
4. What if he’s a teetotaler and expects me to be one?
I’m not a drunkard, but once in while I feel like losing control and having fun.
Earlier, girls were concerned to not have husband who smokes and drinks, but today, things have changed. We’re open to joining you for a drink and have some fun.
5. If he has a creepy smile how will I ever look at him?
There’s a surprise package waiting for you.
What will he be: Prince charming from the movies or Mr. Dumb, who’ll try to woo you with a creepy smile and blunt stare?
6. What if he never lets me get that tattoo?
I’m simple and good natured and I will take care of your family, and be obedient, but I just want a tattoo that no will see. Please let me have it, pleaseeeeee…
7. What if he’s a workaholic, which is why he never got a girl for himself?
What if he never takes me on a holiday, or dinner date or a picnic? Ever.
8. Money vs. romance – what’s in store for me?
My family wants me to settle down with a financially stable guy, but will he also be romantic?
I know, that’s a rare combination.
9. Does he even know a thing about female anatomy?
Not exactly the greatest sin of arranged marriage BUT what if the guy has never dated anyone before, and thinks I’m going to be his first experiment?
10. Is he going to be bossy and possessive?
Do not talk to this person, do not meet your friends, never go to that place, don’t work in that office, don’t eat that, don’t wear that, and a long list of Don’ts and Nos.
11. Will he be sensitive to my PMS mood swings?
I really don’t want to be fighting over it.
12. Is my mother-in-law going to meddle in everything I do?
What if I get to make no decisions at all? Not even what’s to be cooked for the dinner!
13. Shall I have a troublemaking sister-in-law?
What’s worse than having a passive-aggressive sister-in-law, who is friendly with you only to extract your secrets, which she uses later to blackmail you?
14. Will anyone stop me from binge watching TV alone and wasting time?
15. Who will decide when I should have kids – me or the family?
Now that others are taking a call on who-and-when I should get married, maybe they will also decide when I should have a baby?
God bless us.