These people need to be stopped.
This world will be a far better a place to live in if Aamir Khan could spill some magic and create an episode each on these great humanitarians.
1. Friends who don’t drink but eat all the chakna
There is a simple scientific rule to drinking: Eat chakna with drinks in such a manner that the amount of chakna lasts the entire act of drinking, while being distributed among every member equally with a margin of error at ±10%.
You just can’t treat chakna as your personal fiefdom. Everybody needs chakna. Satyamev Jayate team, please do something.
2. People who smoke but never buy cigarettes
Manmohan Singh (theek hai, PVNR for you) liberalised India in 1991. Enough time for you to start buying your pack of smokes now.
3. People who change the TV channel every two seconds.
If you’ve ever had the not-so-good privilege of watching TV with someone, who changes the channel every 2 seconds (or less), you’d know why Aamir Khan should step in.
4. Middle class Indian kids who think they are Rappers
An episode on the ‘Rap culture’ sweeping across middle class Indian kids is a must. They spend a good week (or more) memorizing the lyrics and sing out loud like they-know-it-alls when someone’s around.
5. People who have a new display picture on Facebook, every day
We get it. You have a Facebook account. And a phone. And a face. Just, stop.
6. Boys/Girls who start talking in English when someone of the opposite sex is near.
That accent you just put on will totally make you the sweetheart of her/his dreams. Why be natural when you can be fake?
7. The topper who almost cries because the teacher didn’t give them that one extra mark.
They need to be stopped, seriously.
8. Boys/Girls who are truly, madly, and deeply in love every semester, with someone new.
The wash, rinse, repeat drama of your college love life needs National Television. Why must only friends suffer?
9. People who think everyone else’s taste in music, movies, books, or TV series is lame
Watching True Detective is not going to turn you into Rust Cohle.
10. Emo guys who are offended the moment someone makes fun of them.
… (Joke intentionally left blank, because Emos.)
11. Girls who smile at boys just so they could get-things-done.
Friendzone is not a pretty place, girls.
12. Boys who make muhn-boli sisters in college just to get introduced to pretty girls in their group.
Guys, please go to the best social-issues show on TV and teach us all the tricks.