Since the time it was installed, the Metro trains have been regarded as lifesavers to the Kolkatans. And, now, even Delhi and Mumbai have joined the list. No matter how swiftly and fast they take us to our destination, there are some typical experiences, which every daily passenger on the Metros would be able to understand. And, since Kolkata had the first rapid transit system in Kolkata, let this list be about those typical people, who you’d inevitably come across in every metro, on a daily basis—
8. The Sleeper
No, we’re not talking about a zombie straight out of Justin Russell’s horror film, The Sleeper. However, on second thoughts, they are really nothing less than zombies. No matter what the time is, irrespective of everything, you’ll find them engaged in a deep slumber in the trains. And, the fun quotient reaches its ultimate peak when you’ll find them taking a nap even while standing amidst crowds. Really, they must be bestowed with some recognized accolades. Don’t you think so?
7. The Ogler
Yes, they ogle, and keep on ogling no matter what your age, height, weight and, of course (in this patriarchal society) your dress is. Even during the rush hours, when you barely get a proper position to stand, you’ll find them at their work. Well, doesn’t this make you wonder about the myriad talents that some people are just born with! Had they used it in the right place, at the right time….well, you never know, India might have had innumerable more Tatas and Birlas!
6. The Adjuster
Now, here we have got another typical personality who excels in getting adjusted to any situation, among any one! Even if 11 people are sitting in a 10-seater, you’ll find them smartly come up and ask you to shift. “Dada/Didiektu shore boshben?” (Sir/Madam, can you shift a bit?) No. Stern looks don’t work for them. However, in our opinion, these people can be pleased quite easily—you just give them the area which could barely rest their bums, and they’d be the happiest persons ever!
5. The Gossip-Monger
In Kolkata, these people are found everywhere. However, to see people traumatized and provoked by the happenings of the work early in the morning is indeed weird. It’s one of those ironic moments, when you can barely concentrate on anything, thanks to your erratic schedule and the claustrophobic train, and few people cannot simply stop being worldly wise responsible citizens! “ShobJantaGurudeb” (The divine, all knowing saint) is what we term them as!
4. The DJ
Now, these are the “cool” dudes who think sitting in trains is so uncool. They would inevitably be standing in the middle of two compartments, wearing loose jeans and shirts over graphic printed tees, with a backpack, a cap and equipped with huge headphones, no matter how hot and humid Kolkata is at that point of time.
3. The Make-up Box
You can trace them everywhere; from trains and parks to buses and banks, and yet you’ll go all mad whenever you see them. They seem to be the walkie-talkie version of make-up. No matter what the weather is like, or what hour it is, you’ll find them in blingy, colorful clothes always topped off with a foundation at least 2 shades lighter than the original skin tone, and a lipstick that is too shiny and red.
2. The Loner
Okay, we’re calling them loner because of the simple reason that they make people repel away. Yes, thanks to their body odor and standing posture, do you ever think you can go and even ask him/her what the time is? They are like this early in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening, and, of course, at night. Ever heard of talking a bath and applying a deodorant, dude?
1. The Nerd
In Kolkata, nerds are the most easily traceable people. No matter whether they have a 20-marks’ class test or their board exams, you’ll find them sucked in deep inside their books. And, if it is not their regular course books, then it may just be another Mills and Boons or a Sidney Sheldon “classic” or a Cecilia Ahern chic-read. And, they are smart enough to read such books like an intellectual and responsible citizens inside irritating and claustrophobic trains! Oh Lord!