Being born and brought up in Delhi helps me generalize this place and categorize things or people accordingly. You may find me wrong but with all my opinions and experience with boys, I bring you a list of types of men you will come across in Delhi.
So ladies, it’s time to objectify and generalize men!
1. The body builders
If you are an average height woman just be ready because you gonna hurt your neck while trying to check out their faces. They are tall, huge, broad, strong, muscular and lost in themselves. You’ll see them flaunting their same old ‘Haryanvi accent’ and carrying a ‘don’t-you-dare-talk-to-me’ look on their faces, while wearing mostly track pants or shorts. I sometimes wonder when they last dressed up like gentlemen. Either they will give a lot of attention to girls or they will just ignore you as the opposite sex does not exist at all.
2. The yo yo guys
‘Blue eyes hypnotize teri kardi hai mainu‘ is supposedly their favorite jingle. They are the most annoying and wannabe species, all at the same time. Big Honey Singh fans with those stupid lyrics on their lips. Adding “yo-yo” to every single word they consider themselves the coolest shit ever. The shorter your dress, the more pleasure their pea-sized brain will get. Generally, they don’t show respect to girls. No criteria for them, they will chase every single girl they come across.
3. Delhi dudes
The Indian counterpart of western rappers. No they don’t rap and aren’t abusive all the time, they just carry that look. Spikes, Unbuttoned checked shirt with a cool t-shirt inside, earphones in, converse shoes, baggy jeans, and here you go! Your cool dude is ready! They may look arrogant and unapproachable but generally turn out to be the most friendly ones.
4. Bhaiyya ji
When people can call girls ‘behen ji‘ some of the guys fall in ‘bhaiyya ji’ category as well. They are generally imported to Delhi carrying a polite accent and longer hair than other guys. Their playlist will carry “Tu pyaar hai kisi aur ka, tujhe chahata koi aur hai”, “Aadmi hoon, aadmi se pyaar karta hu“, whereas the only English song will be ‘ I wanna fuck you’ by Akon. They will talk to girls very nicely and measure their cup size when they are gone. Some turn out to be roadside romeos and other become creepy stalkers.
5. The intellectual JNU types
When I was a new traveler, in my teens I used to confuse them with naxalites or maoists after looking at them. Unkempt beard, khadi kurtas, pajamas, jholas, and huge glasses is their fashion. They hardly bother about their clothes or yours too. Always talking about capitalism, communism, secularism, etc. around the globe. They don’t like bimbos but will pay attention if you are blessed with natural beauty. Though this is rare as well.
Basically engineers. They know girls like them no matter how geeky and nerdy they are. Generally wear spectacles and are gentle with girls. At least to their faces. If you are thinking about dating one, just remember this: they are already in a relationship with their laptops and gadgets. But yes, they will remain loyal because their syllabus does not give them time to double date.
7. UPSC aspirants
They have traded all their testosterone in order to become IAS. They are ‘I-know-it-all’ ones who grow up to ‘men from boys’ and ‘uncles from men.’ They can tell you when and where Babur died and if they are appearing for third time, chances are they can tell you the time of his death in exact minutes and seconds. Believe me, you actually are a distraction for them hence kindly leave else they surely will leave you for causing such interruptions.
8. One in a million guy
He is handsome, cute, adorable. Working in some decent organization or doing higher studies while living life. He will respect you, love. He will make you laugh and regret every single tear of yours. He is the one who will fulfill each and every point of your criteria.
Hence, this category does not exist!