Its prime time and here we go again. With the exception of a meagre few which crop up once in a while, Hindi television soaps are never ever going to change. A new serial might give an impression of having a very ‘new’ story but, as the days go by you can’t help, but notice that things are veering towards the age-old saas-bahu drama. And with that, you get to see those dated instances, dated romance and everything dated all over again. So what if it’s the same old thing, you can always learn a lot from them. Here are certain things which Hindi TV soaps have taught us like none alike:
7. Never Say Die
Any character in a daily soap never dies, unless of course his/her contract with the producers and directors have lapsed. If a death is shown then there is enough room for the person to make a comeback anytime (even at his shradhh). Everyone is sad and mourning the death of a loved one, performing shradhh and voila, the door knocks! Another episode and your eyes will be surprised to see the same person appear to give a weirdly detailed account of how he/she escaped the whole thing unhurt.
6. Say Yes To Plastic Surgery
You can always come back to win any situation if you’ve completely changed your physical appearance. Invariably, each and every daily soap has tried this and has come out with outrageously comic results. The villainous person goes invisible suddenly, only to come back in the avatar of a completely new person. And nobody can recognize him. Because? 1) He is a totally different looking man; 2) nothing, absolutely nothing has been retained (his voice, his height); only thing remains is his memory (darn memory); and 3) he has a lot of money to keep his identity at bay at any cost. Easy no?
5. If a Married Girl Throws Up, She’s Pregnant
It can’t be a headache, it can’t be a stomach problem, it can’t be indigestion and it also can’t be too much alcohol. It is pregnancy and nothing else. It’s also true for a married woman who suddenly drops the tea cups into a mess because her head is spinning. Pregnancy is the answer to every medical problem the bahus face. However, you may not use the word ‘pregnant’ as such. It’s always ‘tum ma banne wali ho’!
4. Sans make-up? Never
When you wake up in the morning, you have to have your lipstick, kajal, blush and false-lashes intact. Nothing should go wrong anywhere. No actress (sometimes actors too) goes without make up ever, be it any situation. She might have just scraped through an accident but who cares as long as her makeup hasn’t moved a bit. Hair in place, no smudging of kajal, the perfect drape of the saree, perfectly manicured nails – which parlour do they visit? If, and only if, you come across a bahu whose bindi is slightly rubbed to the side and lipstick not as glaring as it usually is, then she’s had her first night with her husband.
3. Arranged marriage and love? It’s just a matter of time
Give the newly-weds some time, and even if they are fighting like six-year olds, they will eventually fall in love. One might scheme to kill the other, the other might be in love with someone else, but hey, they are ‘married’. Saat janmo ka bandhan. How could you forget? Hence, you have to fall in love.
2. You’ve got such a beautiful maid! Er, she’s my son’s wife
Not working after marriage? You are almost equal to the maid in the house. A housewife is meant to do all the chores in the house. And they are only too happy to do everything possible on earth to get a slap or two from their mother-in-laws in case they are at fault. The hubby is busy outdoors, or at home trying to steal a moment with his wife. The women who are housewives yet do nothing apart from dressing up? Well, they are the vamps. No bahu can be perfect if she’s not grilled by the family and is all tears always.
1. Never believe your family: the outsider has to prove it
Even if you’ve almost died to save your family from a minor catastrophe, thou shalt not be believed. It is the prerogative of the outsiders – a benign shopkeeper, the dhobi, the doodh-wala, the driver or, for that matter, animals. Even a little pup might give way to a great truth which the bahu had been trying to say since six months. But don’t think your tryst with not being trusted is over – it can pop up anytime the family wishes to.