I agree. ‘Stupid’ and ‘Love’ should not be used in the same sentence. It offends Cupid, the semi-naked God of Love. But I know you agree, even if secretly, that stupid is exactly what you have been once upon a time when little pink hearts were floating around your eyes, and the world seemed to be a slow motion movie. Love (aka luv, lowe, lv or lov) is a cough syrup we all have been high on. And why not! Did not our moral science classes feed us how love makes the world go round? However, sometimes the speed of this merry-go-round makes our brains spin to levels that explain the idiom – to err is human, to be stupid divine. Here are the 7 stupidest things people do for love.
7. Echo effect:
By far the stupidest thing to do is to scream ‘I love so-and-so’ to the winds – standing on the Grand Canyon or the little sea front on choupatty, as the financial condition may dictate. Alright, so you love her. But do you think the little ant on the tiny bush thousands of feet below in the grand hole bothers to know? Or that crab which came on to the sea shore to relieve himself? And no, last I checked, the winds do not carry the message to God and He does not send a goody back full of more love back to you. So stop screaming like an idiot, will you?
6. Have babies:
It’s pleasurable, having babies, why not! They teach and pee and burp and smile and kick your behind soon as they are tall enough. But having them just out of love may not be the wisest thing on the planet of apes. After all, only Cupid wears rechargeable/recyclable diapers. The rest need to be bought, with money and responsibility. Love child is good. But love is not the name of baby food, cots, clothes, tuition fees, etc. It’s food for the soul, only. The rest is called cash and credit cards.
5. Turn ‘Anonymous’:
So many lovelorn people’s knees suddenly start knocking at the thought of walking up to the beloved and letting out that love-ly sigh. So what do they do? Write anonymous love letters. Worse still, put their initials there, to create a mystery where no interest from the other party exists. Make a big question mark around ‘guess who?’ and hope she is bothered enough to guess who. Only owls say ‘whoo whoo’, and even my 2-year-old knows that.
When love turns you blind, the effects are often felt in the grey matter too. Why else would you roll-up your sleeves and go try bash up the neighborhood security guard just because he whistles as she passes, and just because she asked you to? You forget his size, did you not? What’s most stupid? Not confirming if he was whistling at her, or snoring under that cap!
3. Buy pink teddies:
When in love, throw originality to the winds. Go to your favorite Archies gallery and pick up a pink teddy, holding a red heart, to gift her on Valentine’s day, or any day. Oh! Do not forget to pay the man at the counter 5 times of what the teddy’s worth, or the cost of a real bear – whichever is more. Throw in a bunch of red roses and you are typical and ready for love.
2. Lose sleep:
Why would you disrespect the God of Slumber and spend the night-before-the-next-date all awake? Haven’t you read enough about sleep deprivation having a direct impact on dark circles, sanity and in some cases ability to drink beer? Silly, I say! Close those eyes, hope that the picture under the heart shaped pillow will come alive in your dreams and wake up fresh and perhaps with glowing skin too.
1. Get a tattoo:
So you are in love with her. After concealing your pimples with calamine and brushing your dental braces to perfection, you visit the nearest Tattoo wala and get her name inked on your arm, or whichever part of you which loves her the most. A little heart, her name, some flowers and a maybe skull-n-bones dropped in for the masculine effect. And then she may fly off, and find greener pastures, while you prepare to clean off the slate and make place for another name, hopefully. Beauty is skin deep, and stupidity too.