If ‘poop talk’ doesn’t embarrass you but is your favorite all-time subject, you are reading the right post. You are going to find some grossly hilarious ‘butt facts’. Read on:
1. Have you noticed how men have bellies and women have fat asses?
Well, it’s biologically made that way. Women’s estrogen cause fat to deposit on their butts rather than their bellies. (Source)
2. What about silent farts?
The hair around your ass hole muffles your farts. So, it’s impossible to fart silently if you shave your ass hole. (Source)
3. Belly fat v/s fat ass.
People with more belly fat tend to die earlier than those with less belly fat. So expect a long life with more fat on your ass than on your belly. (Source)
4. Thank your ass everyday – you can walk, climb and stand all due to it!
Your ass is part of your body’s most powerful muscle group, which has the gluteus maximus (your ass), gluteus medius (another muscle in your ass), and gluteus minimus (a third muscle in your ass). Your ass’s muscle group is responsible for all your locomotion — everything. Standing up, walking, climbing stairs, crouching, or just standing erect. (Source)
5. There is a bone at the top of your ass called the coccyx, which used to be a tail before evolution weeded it out.
6. Fart on! It’s normal.
On average, people fart between thirteen and twenty-one times a day. Basically, if you’re not farting all day, there’s probably something wrong with you. (Source)
7. Your average poop is 75% water — exactly our planet’s land to water ratio.
8. Your poop isn’t only waste material — it retains up to 50% of its original energy. Not that you should start eating it — please don’t!
9. Poop is brown because it contains bile and dead red blood cells.
10. The truth behind green poop.
If you have green poop, it’s either because it moved faster than normal through your intestine, or because you just consumed a lot of blue or green food dyes. (Source)
11. Hemorrhoids aren’t a medical condition.
They’re actually the name of fleshy cushions inside your ass hole that control your poop. Painful abscesses on your ass hole are caused by hemorrhoid disease. (Source)
12. On average, 10% of the people getting ass implants are men.
13. There are some horrible treatments for hemorrhoidal disease.
They include wrapping a rubber band around them until the swollen and exposed portion dies and falls off, receiving an injection in the affected area (which causes the swollen hemorrhoidal tissue to wither and fall off), or cauterizing. Thankfully, the latter now involves using lasers, instead of a hot piece of metal. (Source)
14. What’s an ass augmentation surgery?
When you have ass augmentation surgery using your own body fat, the fat is usually taken from your stomach and implanted in your ass. This makes future fat appear on your ass instead of your belly because your body wants to deposit fat where there’s already fat. (Source)
15. Kim’s x-rayed ass is still debatable.
While Kim Kardashian famously x-rayed her ass to prove she didn’t have ass implants, the x-rays were never analyzed by a medical professional, who is the only type of person who could actually discern the signs of ass implants. What we’re saying is that the case isn’t closed on the Kim K ass implants rumor. (Source)
16. One of the biggest reasons humans (and other primates) evolved asses is just so they could sit down.
17. There is an ancient Greek word for having an awesome ass — it’s ‘callipygian’.
18. People have died from pooping too hard. It caused their blood pressure to rise enough to shake loose a blood clot or burst an aneurysm.
19. 99% percent of the gasses that make up your farts don’t smell.
Farts are mostly oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen and methane. The other one percent stinks — it’s made of sulfuric compounds. (Source)
20. Never poop clog.
You can get what’s called an anal abscess from poop clogging the glands in your ass hole and causing an infection. If the infection goes untreated, it can grow into a giant infection in your ass cheek, fill with puss, and require drainage. (Source)
21. Butt chugging – Never!
Your ass is super absorptive, which is why chugging beer, wine, or hard liquor from your ass (‘butt chugging’) is super dangerous. Without running alcohol through your liver and kidneys first, you lose the ability to puke when you’ve had way too much. This means you can easily butt chug too much and die! (Source)
22. There are at least fifty different English slang words for your ass.
23.Erotic spanking didn’t emerge from ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’.
It’s been here since time immemorial. Seriously, there are ancient frescos of men whipping and spanking women in erotic poses. (Source)
24. Victorian England was deeply into spanking. Hundreds of thousands of pornographic pieces involving spanking were made during the period.
25. Anal stage is part of life.
According to Sigmund Freud, the ‘anal stage’ is the second stage of a child’s early development. This is after they top being fascinated with putting everything in their mouths and before they notice their own genitals. It also involves being fascinated with poop. (Source)