Psychopath girlfriends make perfect partners for psycho boyfriends. For the common folk they are a health and life hazard. They are on the edge of entering the dark evil side and want to take you with them. Get rid of them at the first sign of a distorted ego, impulsiveness or any act of shallow behavior. A little crazy girl friend can be fun and makes the excitement factor go up in a relationship. But if she has multiple OCD traits, falls out of your definition of normal crazy, step back and reevaluate your relationship with her. And don’t read this list aloud or when she’s around and never ever bookmark it. She might just turn in to the green witch you are suspecting her to be, faster than you can handle. You know you’e a psycho girlfriend when –
1. She Lives With More Than 2 Cats Alone In Her Apartment.
She has names for them. She has ‘manufactured’ their personalities and wants you to treat them the same way. Be ready to share the bed with her furry buddies.
Her pictures on Facebook look cool at first
But, it gets darker
Apparently, she’s got someone aiming at your head too!
2. Her Missed Calls Give You No Time to Breathe or Bathe or Eat or Poop
These missed calls soon turn into abusive slimy voice mails and threatening texts dipped in lusty warnings. When you do reply, an honest explanation is taken as lying and you are termed immature. Beware you are being the lion and she’s the ring master with the whip.
It usually starts like this
3. She hates all your friends and accuses you of sleeping with women way out of your league.
If she hates your friends, family, dog, gardener, and even your imaginary friend Barbie, run and keep running!!
If you don’t, this is how it’s going to end:
4. When She Is Stalking You Around The Clock.
Stalkers can come in pretty faces and great bodies too, get over the trench coat image.
She might stalk you by car, walk or even hack into your cyber world and see what you are upto.
5. She Lies. And She Kinda Enjoys It!
She lies to you about getting hurt in a car accident or calls your parents to inform them about being grandparents soon. Predatory lying which might me cute the first two months, but later gets scarier by the day.
This- it’s okay. Once in a while. But Not Okay Every Other Day!
6. She Sends Flowers to Your Mother And Confesses True Love For Her.
She even imagines that you’re going to propose her on her birthday and she’s already informed all your friends about it. All this might happen just when her mood swings are giving you a headache and making you reluctant to go out in public with her.
That’s her learning how to cast spell on your mother so that you’re doomed forever!
Caught in the act
7. She Wants You To Stop Looking At The Species Called Women.
She will never let you get so cozy with other women!
She looks at you when you look at other women and suspects you of cheating with the old spinster next door and the Russian old lady who sells flowers at the corner.
That’s her imagining you with the waitress you tipped the other day!
8. She Never Ever Talks About Her Family.
And when she does, they seem like the most distorted people in the whole world. Instead at the first attempt of break up, calls your folks and your boss and tells them that you are a Russian spy.
You can spot some signs early
A piece of advice
9. She has a problem with everything; well, almost!
When she calls the clerk at the store and the waitress at your table with names and goes home and calls you the same and the more. She has a problem with your hair, shoes, shave, undies, face, nails, toes and everything else too. She might even delete your mom’s number because you speak too much to her.
Basically, it’s like this
10. When she drops in randomly or was just passing by to check on you.
Or she is at the doorstep when you come home from work and at the airport for the morning flight.
Change your locks and go on a holiday to Timbuktu or the North Pole.
Go, have a life buddy!