You’ll agree guys have a knack for giving mixed signals. One day they want us in their arms, in the next moment they ditch us with no reply. What makes them behave like this, is it other options or are we doing something to offend them? It’s hard to say. But in no ways does this mean your life should stand still, waiting for him. If he’s giving you mixed signals, here’s how you can deal with it without going crazy.
1. Retreat your steps and see what happens.
OK, you guys may have spent a few fun-filled days and more than many intimate moments, when he suddenly stopped texting and went silent. Stop agonizing over it! No need to send him witty texts to elicit a response. Stop checking your phone every other second. Leave him free to text back. If he doesn’t, do you still think he’s worth chasing?
2. Start doing things you like instead of staring at the phone waiting for a text.
Being with someone else always takes away your time. You willingly choose them over doing so many other things you like. So, now is the time to do them all. Start studying, meet friends, take a solo trip, watch movies, do some cooking; keep yourself busy and productive.
3. Don’t block out other options till he commits.
No matter how smitten you feel, never block other options until he shows the willingness to commit. Keep in touch with other suitors, enjoy their company and let this guy decide what he wants.
4. Stop acting needy and give him some space.
There are a thousand reasons to make him behave cold. It could be professional problems, trouble at home, or anything else that may be bothering him at the moment. Give him space, rather than acting needy. Don’t ever be emotionally clingy. If he’s interested, he will not only reply back, but make it up to you for missing out for so long.
5. Give him a surprise and show up on his door.
If the anxiety is killing you, just show up at his door, for good or bad, you’ll find out soon enough. Bring something good to eat along and also something to drink. Don’t bicker about him not replying, don’t bring it up. Don’t stay over too long. Just ask after his health and if all’s been good. No desperation. Don’t be too cold, don’t be too hot. Let him choose his next step on his own.
6. If he calls after a long gap, don’t agree to meet instantly; tell him you’re busy.
Anyone can be busy; if he could just disappear like that you too have the right to pretend you’re busy. Reply to him, but don’t agree to meet instantly. Let him wonder what you’re up to and what is keeping you busy. If he cares, he’ll find a way to get you to meet him, if not, you shouldn’t be worrying about him anymore.
7. When the water’s too deep, it’s time to talk.
This is for those of you who have spent a considerable amount of time together before this happened. Let him know you wanna talk. Don’t make it over-the-top dramatic. Don’t make it sound like a lecture. Just ask him straight if you’re in a relationship with him or not.
8. Take a stand; refuse to stand his behavior.
If this guy is vacillating between moving ahead and pulling back, think very seriously about your relationship. You don’t want to get stuck with a guy who can’t take a firm decision.
9. It’s time to dig up his past, but be smart about it.
Did you do something offensive or is it just his nature to shut down after a few dates? Talk to common friends if you have any, or speak to his sister, or classmates or colleagues. Be carefully not to ask directly, but do find out if he’s mentioned you to them. How was he in his previous relationships? Is there any particular reason for him being so guarded? Do your homework thoroughly, and also go by what your gut says.
10. Social media stalking could be effective.
Not all of us post check-ins on social media, but if he’s active on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, do stalk all of his accounts all day long. If he’s not posting anything, maybe he’s stuck up, but if he’s using social media like every day, he’s openly trying to say “I don’t have time for you.”
11. Start all over again, find someone new.
Once the seeds of doubt have been sown, it’s really hard to get back to normal. So, if days are passing by without a reply from him, just end this chapter and begin a new one with someone who truly cares for you. Someone you can trust right from the start.