It can be really annoying to have to deal with an egoist at any time or place. If the egoist is you boss or spouse, things get even worse. Egoists are not bad people but you can think of them as faulty people. The fault that they have in their head is that they think that everything they do or say is right. Their world revolves around their own perfect image and they never like to lose an argument. Don’t even try to get them to accept their mistake or apologize. It can be tough but there are ways of dealing with an egoist. Here are the top 10 ways to deal with an egoist.
The best advice is to avoid having to deal with an egoist in the first place. This is much easier and will save you a lot of headache. To be absolutely clear I am suggesting even finding a new job or a new partner if your boss or spouse is an egoist. If you get into an argument with a stranger who seems an egoist, just avoid the argument because no matter how logical you are you’ll never win the argument. If you are stuck with an egoist boss or spouse or close friend then read on for more ways to deal with an egoist.
This is an important step in dealing with an egoist. You must stay calm. You can’t get angry or emotional because it won’t be good for you and it will only complicate the situation further. When your egoist starts an argument, you must remember that in their eyes they are perfect and you won’t make them see their faults by turning the argument into a fight.
At all times maintain your dignity and don’t get abusive or aggressive. If your boss is an egoist always stay professional while dealing with them. If your spouse is an egoist, maintain respectful no matter how wrong they are being. This is again about staying calm and maintaining sanity.
Just because you are with an egoist doesn’t mean you should just stay quiet and let them have their way. You must voice your opinions in a calm manner. Let them know your point of view but don’t try to force it on them. If you tell an egoist to do something in a certain way, they’ll make sure to do it in some other way. Don’t force your opinion on them and let them do things in their own way after having voiced your opinion once. If their way doesn’t work you can calmly remind them that you told them so.
In no circumstance should you tolerate bad behavior. Egoist spouses have the habit of making their partner feel worthless. Do not tolerate this type of behavior by being submissive just to make the relationship work. Remember that it is better for a relationship to fail than to stay stuck in an abusive relationship.
Getting angry at bad behavior is okay but don’t expect a big apology from the egoist. They might quiet down if you are angry but they’ll continue to believe that they didn’t do anything wrong. After a time of anger you must forgive them on your own and resume normal behavior. If you force them to apologize they’ll hate you for it. Try to think of them as transactional relations where every action is one transaction. When they make a mistake, get angry but only till the transaction lasts and then start another transaction on a neutral note.
While you must not tolerate bad behavior you must also encourage good behavior. No matter how egoist a person is, they still do manage to do good things. When this happens make sure to praise them and let them know that you appreciate their good behavior. Egoists are always looking for praises and if you condition them by giving it only when they behave well, things will get a lot easier for you.
While you must praise the egoist’s good behavior, remember to not flatter them. They’ll get too used to your flattery and expect it all the time. They’ll expect you to always flatter them and stay submissive to them. This is not what you want. Praises are the treats you must give judicially to condition their behavior. Too much and they’ll never behave properly with you.
Egoists like people who are dependent on them but this doesn’t mean you have to be dependent on them in order for them to like you. In fact the more dependent you are on them, the more they will abuse you. It feeds their ego to have someone tied to them who they can treat badly knowing that they’ll never leave them. They’ll make you feel worthless and tell you how big a favor they do to you by tolerating you. If you don’t want this then become independent.
The most important thing while dealing with an egoist is to take charge of your life. Egoists like to take charge of other’s life as this gives them the feeling of power but if you let them, they’ll make your life hell. When you take charge of your life, you let them know that you are your own individual person who needs to be treated with respect. You also create the option of leaving the egoist when you take charge of your life which sometimes is the only course of action left.