Top 10 things to never say to a girl

So, she was all over you like a bee on flower, but you suddenly blabbed out something and she started giving you a devilish look which was enough to kill a puppy almost instantly. Hands up dude! I don’t have a single clue about what to say and what to avoid in front of a girl. But I’m damn sure it’s just like cracking the hidden mystery of Bermuda Triangle to understand that when a girl is happy as a lark and when crazy as a fox. Since the points were out of my radar; I called up a dear friend of mine (indeed a gal!) and asked her to render me a list of ten things to never say to a girl. And here we go with ten lethal points that drive girls to the threshold of distraction, making you a beaten-up spider-monkey mutant.

10. You’re so amazing, so nice, so this, so that, and blah blah blah:

Don’t praise her too much because it will lose its significance. She needs her space, and on the contrary she may also find it alarming since majority of girls are raised to believe that if the guy pampers you too much; there is definitely a second woman. For a special occasion you can give her your all attention offering her a classic movie, candy and red roses, a full-on candle light dinner, a trip to a nearby romantic destination, and everything followed by uhh (you better know!). But remember dude, if you’re constantly babying her and smothering with you-are-my-property look, then she can definitely smash the hell out of you.

(img source: sheknows.com)

9. How do you like my friend (who happens to be a girl):

Well, this question is a cardinal sin. Boy, if you are buzzing around other girl — doesn’t matter she is your best pal, then only Jesus can save your a$$. You better know that jealousy thing in girls is an inborn quality and they can get jealous over anything. And if she does care about you as a boyfriend, she will certainly go like this – “Better to stay away from this wicked whore”. But just because of jealousy thing and other crappy remarks, you can’t label your girl a boneheaded or psycho, because for her you’re the solo thing which matters most. She has an amazing detector radar and can track potential insecurity a mile away.

(img source: datingish.com)

8. Your attire is weird:

Now, listen up boys! You’ve no right to anticipate your girl to be the epitome of downright perfection always. Occasionally, she can bring out her best in terms of fashioning but she’s not duty-bound to appear like a sensuous cover girl of  Cosmopolitan, every time you guys meet. Make her realize you love the attire she wears. However, with your honest opinion, you can also suggest her how to appear more sophistically, but on other side if you’ll keep yourself pushing her with nasty and loaded statements then indeed you’ll turn a misogynistic swine for her.

(img source: hercampus.com)

7. Why are you crying:

A distressing video on YouTube, a lamentable commercial or any reality show where contestants and judges cry like a hyena could force your girl to flow tears. Sometimes, we find it tremendously beautiful and start cracking on the adorable face after asking the reason. But we shouldn’t. Girls are structured differently than emotionally bankrupt guys and are prone to outburst anytime. Don’t say anything while she sheds tears; rather let her cry as long as she wants. All you’ve to do is to console her while she buries her face in your chest.

(img source: sodahead.com)

6. I’m good in bed:

So, you consider yourself a modern-day Casanova who can easily shoot down the “deed” power of even Warren Beatty, Charlie Sheen, Hugh Hefner and Jack Nicholson with I-am-the-sexual-pervert-with-no-off-switch overture. But, hold on cowboy! She too has the traits to smack down Amy Winehouse, Jennifer Ketchum or Amber Smith, and can turn a total-brain-shutdown material for you. Don’t challenge her ever on bed because her bod is the instrument of instruments which masters your vibes the best.

(img source: eligiblemagazine.com)

5. You look fat:

Dude, keep your thoughts about her weight to yourself because if you’re making comments about her “size” thing then make sure you’ve jumped into the fast lane which ends to the doghouse. It is a universal truth that whenever a health-concerned-chick is called fat, she promptly stores your remark in her memory to blackmail you emotionally anytime. Don’t jump into the swamp, otherwise  for entire life you will be treated like a green-eyed monster for cooking the recipe of disaster. Be it size 0 or size 40, she’ll be always JLo for herself.

(img source: telegraph.co.uk)

4. What’s your figure:

Cowboy, she is a gal. She is mentally and genetically opposite to you, and can become stark-raving-mad on random reasons (the door swings both ways!). Most of the girls imagine themselves to be fatter than they really are, and can easily get tempestuous if asked about the body proportions. Doesn’t matter her bod is paperthin or justifies the structure of a gigantic soccer player; your question about her figure can directly send you to hell with straightforward deniability.

(img source: sheknows.com)

3. Have you done it:

You might be the second coming of Ben Hur with a really big mouth; but boy, a challenge tossed towards any girl can turn for you a grueling pain in the….., well you know what! Be it disposing a dead mice, killing a cockroach, opening tight jars, gulping shots of tequila or even jumping out of a plane; they are always in! A challenge makes a girl defensive. And remember, with this defensive attitude she’ll argue you to the ground, making you a nagging creep. Never undervalue the power of a girl!

(img source: womenapproachyou.net)

2. I love my mom more than you:

Truth hurts! Indeed, you love your mom more than anyone else in the world, but whenever you’re with a chick, your matriarch suddenly becomes a surefire shot to turn her off. The jealousy thing in girls is no doubt a nasty-generic trait, and if she feels that someone (be it your mom) is taking your care and attention away from her then this trait becomes an extremely difficult phenomenon to overcome.

(img source: img823.imageshack.us)

1. Go to the kitchen:

And here comes the statement which has transported generation of boys back to the Mars! Generally, girls hate to enjoy  cooking and conceive it a tedious, monotonous and a repetitious process which take them away from other gratifying activities. On other side “I hate cooking” is also a powerful fashion statement for girls. Pal, beware of babbling this sinister thing to your girl because if she takes it seriously, she can cook the “whole world” for you.

(img source: guardian.co.uk)