Top 10 Anti-jokes of All Time

12:28 pm 4 Jul, 2013

Anti-jokes are like an indirect humour by which the speaker delivers something that’s mundane or isn’t funny. Though, these lack logic and rationality, still these creations of human mind spread smiles across the face of millions. Anti-jokes look at a particular problem or question from a completely different perspective. To see how they do it, continue reading…

10. Amputation of limbs becomes legal…Just imagine!

Why did the little girl fall off of her bike?

It was because she didn’t have any arms.

How silly the parents of this girl are? Or we can say how goofy the imagination of the person imagining this is? Though, it could be possible that she would be learning how to ride a bicycle even without having any arms. How sporting of her? Whatever. This silly question has no meaning at all and laughs at those who are physically challenged. So, it is standing last in my list.

Girl with no arms

Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? It was because she didn’t have any arms.

9. A racial nincompoops’ anti-humour pertaining to his area of interest…

What would you call a black person on the moon? The answer is an Astronaut.

What else were you thinking about? Was it that it’s only on Earth that a person doing racial discrimination shall be found guilty, but not on the Moon? No because as and when he’ll enter the Earth’s atmosphere, he’ll be charged with such allegations. Imagination provokes imagination.

Man on the moon

What would you call a black person on the moon? The answer is an Astronaut.

8. A bar where people don’t drink…

 A man walks into a bar.

 Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So, he got hurt.

This anti joke tries to play around with a word which is used in different places in a completely different way. For example, Bar Code, Bar and Restaurant, Handle Bar, so on and so forth. Now you decide with which bar you would like to go?

So a guy walks into a bar

7. The story of a farmer which has little to do with the farmer…

An owl and a squirrel are in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

As I said, this joke as an anti-joke makes you think from the farmer’s perspective. But, later on the centre of attraction of the story comes out to be an owl.

Owl and Squirrel

An owl and a squirrel are in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

6. Gifts of Yuletude, not meant for a destitute…

What does the homeless man get for the Christmas? The answer is “Nothing.”

This anti joke is created by a person who appears to be a diehard real fellow and who knows that Santa Claus is a phoney figure. So, like other days, the day of Christmas will also not help a poor to get rich. The Santa Claus is meant for classy people only.

Homeless Guy

What does the homeless man get for the Christmas? The answer is “Nothing.”

5. See-saw of sea-law.

What would you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the sea? The answer is “A horrible accident”.

This anti-joke is one of the vaguest anti-jokes as it doesn’t tell in its first line that were the lawyers alive or dead. This provokes the reader to think about an appropriate single word for such a weird description. But, at the other side of it is simply ‘an accident’.

100 lawyers at bottom of Ocean

4. Batman becomes a Joker…

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

 “Get in the car.”

What a nice “Probability Game” was coupled with the celebrated characters of a film. It’s an ulterior thing to imagine which imaginary character said what to whom before an action.

Robin get in the car

Robin get in the car

3. The inside meaning of something Red which is Blue…

What is red and smells like blue paint? The answer is Red paint.

Everything that glitters is not gold. Similarly, what we can decipher from this case is “Everything that smells alike does not necessarily have the same colour.” This codswallop question has made its way to second runners-up position in my list because it still makes sense.

Red paint

What is red and smells like blue paint? The answer is Red paint.

2. Those gorgeous black eyes. Are they natural or “man”-made?

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

“Domestic violence is a crime. She should leave her abusive partner and seek help.”

This is what we call a “Perfect Killjoy” remark. May be the person here was referring “Black eyes” to the bruises around the eyes of the lady caused by the infliction of violence by her partner. Surely, that’s not her beauty. I know, like me, many of the readers would have thought that the phrase “Black Eyes” could be referring to the colour of her Iris. But, it’s not. That’s why it is runners-up in my list of anti-jokes.

Woman with two black eyes

1. Green Evolution and Revolution…

What is Green and has wheels? The answer is “Grass”. I lied about the wheels.

This is the best anti-joke that I’ve ever heard. Philosophically, it talks about the human tendency to tell lies even when it is not necessary to do so. As you can see in this case, the answer could be ‘Green Vehicle’, ‘Green Aeroplane’ or ‘Green Train’, but the person bluntly said that he told lies in the question itself. Nevertheless, the thing is, you cannot answer this conundrum correctly until and unless you know its answer already.

Grass Wheel

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