Childhood is a really important part of our life. We become the person we are today because of the things that happen in childhood. Our parents, teachers and other adults shape us, knowingly or unknowingly in their own image. This means that if you have good parents and teachers you can have a great advantage as an adult. But as hard as parenting is, there are few things that our parents consciously try to teach us which don’t make much sense. Some of them are lies and others are just wrong advice. Here are the top 10 absurdities we are taught right from childhood.
Every child hears this phrase too often. Parents say this in order to make their child more sociable. They think it will be a great advantage in the future and to a certain degree it is advantageous to be outgoing and be able to easily mingle with strangers. But the more is definitely not the merrier. As you grow up you want to have friends to share with but you don’t want a whole lot of them. Being in a crowd is never a good idea. Maybe parents should teach us that the medium the merrier.
Another moral that is taught to children is that honesty is the best policy. It is wrong to teach this to children because they can see that parents are being hypocrites. They can see that their parents lie all the time and tell them to be honest all the time. This confuses the child and if someone were to grow up really believing in this and always speaking the truth they’ll not be able to function in the society we have created.
We teach kids that fighting is bad. It makes a little sense but the extreme of everything is bad. It is not right to teach them to never fight back. When a bully is hurting them they should know that fighting back is alright. That’s how they’ll grow up into individuals who fight for their rights. If you teach them that all fighting under all circumstances is bad then they’ll grow up to be meek individuals who are bullied by their employers, government and everybody else.
Out of the many lies we tell children the cruelest is to tell them about monsters hiding in the dark. It is an easy way to control children and stop them from getting into danger in the dark but it is also wrong to tell them about things you know don’t exist. It also makes them afraid of the unknown which later seeps into other areas of life.
Children should be taught to be good for the sake of being good not because some supernatural entity is watching their every move. This is another lie that does more harm than good. To create the sense of a big brother always watching and judging their every move is to crush their independent spirits in childhood. It also fills them with a sense of guilt and shame that might be good to keep people in line but also lead to an unhappy life.
Whenever a parent wants the child to get to do something they tell them that it’s for their own good. If used in moderation this is not such a bad thing and might be important to get the children to eat medicines etc. But if overused to find an easy way to control the child, this can become a crippling statement. The child starts thinking that their good is in crushing their own desires and dreams and following orders. As adults this belief can lead to an unfulfilled life.
Children have a lot of questions and when parents run out of answers they start telling children to stop asking questions. If a child is answering back, it’s a good thing as it points to a curious and intelligent mind. But in order to get their way parents start telling children to not argue. This stops them from growing their intelligence and questioning skills. Children should be allowed to argue and in fact should be taught how to argue constructively.
When parenting gets hard, every parent resorts to the age old, “just do as I say!” This is not the best way to deal with a child. It is a way of threatening obedience from them. Parents feel that they made their children so their children should obey them at all times. But to encourage this type of unquestioned obedience will result in weak individuals who can never live fully under the pressures of the society.
All parents want their kids to win at everything. They want them to be the best at whatever they do. They teach them how winning is very good and how losing is very bad. While competitiveness can be good too much of it is not a good thing. Children should be taught to do things for the sake of doing them and enjoying them not just to win. And they should not be discouraged from losing. The fear of losing is what stops so many adults from trying to achieve their dreams.
One of the worst things that children are taught is that good grades mean a secure and safe future. They are forced to study hard to get good grades and a lot of times their other interests are not encouraged. It puts undue pressure on the kids. Just because they can’t get good marks doesn’t mean that they’ll be a failure in life. In fact there have been many great men and women who didn’t do too well in school and there have also been many people who were great in school but never lived up to their potential.