Bollywood: The Plague Of The Last Century. And How It Has Spread

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10:00 am 31 May, 2016

I’ve always thought people should stick to doing what they’re good at. Even if they’re only marginally passable at it. Bollywood stars don’t seem to understand, or appreciate, this simple fact. They have a tendency to shove their sausage fingers into every pie in sight. And the thing about greed is, nothing’s ever enough.

I mean, you wouldn’t want your newspaper guy flying the next plane you board, would you?!! My point is, they should limit themselves to acting, maybe even put in a little effort into honing their craft, instead of gallivanting into everything under the sun! Here’s a rough sketch of how many pies Bollywood stars have their hands in:


First, they stuck to their field of (ahem!) “expertise”.

They didn’t have to be good. All they had to do, was show up! But was that enough for them? NO!


Then they ventured into the ad world.

Thereby taking the jobs of small time actors who could only ever dream of landing big movie projects like these guys.


Once they had ads, they decided they wanted the runway, too!

The biggest downside of Bollywood taking to the runway is that there are no more supermodels. No more “Mehr Jesia”s, “Jesse Randhawa”s, “Madhu Sapre”s, “Milind Soman”s, “Arjun Rampal”s, and so on.


Then they took the game shows.

And now veteran game show hosts like Derek O’Brien, Siddhartha Basu, Mohan Kapur, and even Omung Kumar, are nowhere to be found.


Then the talk shows.

Why do we need a Bollywood celebrity to host a talk show? They’re narcissists, these actors. They couldn’t be assed about regular people’s problems. I think the biggest star in a talk show, should be the person whose story is being told.

satyamev jayate



Then came reality TV.

Bigg Boss, those countless performance shows which have far too many celebrity judges to name, and of course, India’s version of ‘Fear Factor’, KKK (a name that should irk every thinking, feeling individual, really)!


Then they bought cricket teams. Because, why not?!!

Movies and cricket, that’s where all the money is! They freaking belong together, don’t they!


Then they started dancing at rich people’s weddings.

Because they can, because they get paid shitloads for a half hour routine, and because they’d skin yo’ mamma alive if they were being paid enough to do it! Just because, okay?!!


Tell me again why it makes sense for Bollywood stars to represent India’s Olympic Association? What, they haven’t taken enough already?!!

Plus, I think it’s ironic that a man who goes around killing unfortunate homeless people willy nilly, should be named “Goodwill ambassador” of anything at all!


Methinks, Bollywood stars will whore themselves out for anything! As long as there’s money in it, nothing is beneath them. Nothing is sacrosanct. They will do everything but their freaking job, they’ll do anything but act.


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