Cinema, what is cinema? Is it the shit-load-of-crap Salman Khan and Prabhudeva movies? A big NAAH! If you are made for cinema, you probably hate these ‘Masala movies.’ Let me tell you what cinema is, ‘Udaan’ is cinema, Anurag Kashyap movies are cinema! Nevertheless, cinema is like a daily chore for you. In this order- Eat-Watch-Watch-Sleep! Here are 30 signs you’re just made for cinema.
1. You watch at least one movie each day. *until stock lasts*
Yes, and most of the time, the *conditions* do not apply. Coz you have an everlasting stock of movies!
2. 75% of your hard disk is filled with movies, not porn though, umm… maybe porn. 1% eh?
And they range from every genre and country. No language can stop you from enjoying your movies.
3. You may have a favorite actor, you watch all his movies, but you watch the others with the exact same gusto.
Yes, I love that man, but I love cinema more than I love him.
4. Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb are your Wikipedia equivalent.
Oh yeah! You watch movies based on the ratings and the reviews on them. 9+ movies are always your priority.
5. For you item songs and dance numbers are like Shakti Kapoor in a movie, unnecessary. Sometimes you joke about it with your cinema savvy friends.
A damn certain yes. Like seriously, what’s the use of it in the context of the movie? You wish the scenario of music in Bollywood was at least a little similar to Hollywood. I am still wondering why Chittiyan Kalliyan Ve, was a part of Roy. Like why? Total crap.
6. You watch the trailers as soon as they hit YouTube.
Just have a look through your YouTube history. Trailers, trailers everywhere.
7. In QuizUp, you rank amongst the top, when it comes to Hollywood and Bollywood!
8. You’ve tried your hand at reviewing, definitely.
You rate movies, you write reviews! Your friends never go for a movie, without getting a piece of your review! You little Taran Adarsh!
9. You don’t mind going to the cinemas alone.
You, movies and maybe popcorn, Ah! The perfect date night.
10. You always give ‘Relevant movie scenarios’ in your daily routine, which people find ‘irrelevant.’
Yes! Go life is one big film. Watch it, enjoy it and learn from it. And for the others, we’re always ready with our expert scenarios.
11. Also, you just cannot control your urge to quote a movie dialogue.
‘I will find you and …’ this phrase from Taken never gets old.
12. At times, you just cannot cope up with all these ‘Masala entertainers’ shit.
Why do they even make such movies? We’re happy with our ‘Masala maggis.’ Let actual filmmakers do the entertainers’ task!
13. In theatres, you hate it when the other people use their phones. Like why are you even here?
14. 2/4th of your pocket money is spent in theatres.
Yes, coz there are a few movies you HAVE to watch in theatres. Torrent is not an option.
15. Also, 3/4th of your internet usage on torrents. True story!
And practically, you cannot watch all of them in theatres. Thank god for torrents!
16. Hitchcock and Majid Majidi are your Gods!
17. Nawazuddin Siddiqui and Irfan Khan are your Shahrukh and Salman.
18. You analyze each frame of the film and dissect it critically.
19. For you story matters more than anything in the film. You are made of tiny stories and you live for stories.
20. You make best friends with people you have cinema conversations.
21. For you nothing is beyond films, your status always says ‘At the movies’.
22. Cinema fascinates you. You know you are made for it.
23. For you every second of the film is important, you can’t afford missing even one shot.
24. When you finish watching a good film, you process it in your head later, admiring the beauty and praising the film makers efforts.
25. Short film festivals are more important for you than your religious festivals.
26. You follow the people or say production houses who have constantly been contributing to cinema, in their own unique and different ways.
27. You write and read extensively about new talent coming up or new films which are changing several perspectives.
28. You feel awesome when a good film does well commercially too and just doesn’t get curbed in film fests!
29. You read all the books on which the film is based, that is again another world for you.
30. Lastly you believe cinema has the power to change lives, it’s a beautiful art which can bring awakening in society and break stereotypes. It’s Cine’Ma’ after all!