1. Because you are unemployed.
PhD because, you are 25 and yet without a job!
2. The most honourable time pass thing ever.
No work, no hobbies and no career options ahead, makes Jack a PhD scholar.
3. You want to remain single.
Your parents are desperate to wed you off and you do not have anything to keep you going while you continue to face rejections, so a PhD to keep you from being lonely and depressed.
4. And if you can’t do that then you can postpone raising a family.
5. Because everyone else in the family is a PhD.
Mom and dad, both Doctors of Philosophy? What will the kid pursue? A PhD of course! Indian logic it is!
6. Because you topped the class.
The best in the lot aren’t meant to work ‘under’ anyone else (any company), their task is to serve the field of education. Thus mugging and cramming things to earn gold medals is reason enough for you to pursue a PhD. Your research instincts or aptitude barely matter ! Yeah hain India meri jaan!
7. Because all your cousins are doctors and engineers and you have nothing to show off!
So, a PhD degree will launch you into the privileged circle of your family.
8. Because you have political ambitions.
And the simplest way to stay back in campus FOREVER as a cadre activist of your organization? A PhD! Nobody would question the leader Dada/Didi even if he/she is a 40-year-old PhD student!
9. Because you have established the reputation of a Jhola carrying erudite in front of your Facebook followers.
Your knowledge of pseudo intellectualism is heavy duty enough for our under read generation and the only kick in your otherwise bland life is your little group of online followers. What will they think if their Bhashan Dada gets a call center job grinded by unemployment? So, a PhD to continue your half baked bhashan’s online monopoly and who cares even if you keep plagiarizing the same thesis for 30 years from various sources? ‘Dada is pursuing a PhD’, makes you erudite enough!
10. Because your Bae is pursuing one.
And you cannot be left behind, can you?
11. Because you want your “net worth” in the matrimonial market to rise.
12. Your ‘reputation’ in the mohalla you live in goes up like the population meter of India.
13. And you also want to humiliate that neighbourhood rival who bested you in childhood.
“Pata hai Sharma-ji ka ladka kya kar raha hai, PhD, PhD! Aur tum, nalayak!
” In short, all other reasons, than being zealous about changing the definition of academic research and the enthusiasm to bring substantial positive changes in the discipline by virtue of that research.