What is love?
Before the unprejudiced youth of today’s generation can think of defining it, it’s meaning is ruined by the narrow moralistic minds of society. Love has no place to shelter itself, so we blanket and protect it in our hearts, hoping at least here, it can breathe with a sense of freedom and hope.
But can we hide it there forever?
No, we can’t because love happens between two people but unfortunately, everyone except them decides what the future holds. Parents and society are like stubborn demons who will judge, doubt, question, oppose and finally, burn your pages of romance into ashes. All the pain you suffered to make your relationship survive and last is smashed with their one immature disapproval.
Is it justified?
If at ALL
it is justified, then, love is the most baseless thing that ever existed. What are we living for if we cannot love the person we want to and how we want to? Our purpose of existence is an utter lie. Love is not just a mere sentiment ballooned by senseless romantic movies. For God’s sake, it is the most natural thing ever to happen to humans.
Then, why can’t society understand this?
It’s no rocket science but the made-up complexity of this subject is shattering relationships.
One of my closest buddies, who fell in love with a girl of a different caste often sees an unsure future with his better half. For the girl’s parents, caste has always been the first criteria for marriage, second comes a high paying job and third, his gharwale
. Wait, where does love stand?
Before I speak about the fallacious mentality which is degrading our society, I want to ask our society a few practical questions which I have tirelessly prepared: What’s more important to you; a girl’s happiness or respect among those 50 moralistic people who are misleading you by advising you to marry your daughter to the guy of the same caste?
A tough one? Right? Let me simply this for you: Who are these 50 people exactly?
Hmm…thinking? I will answer it:
10 of them are the close relatives who think that the girl is born only to marry and settle down by 25 because after 25, she will never be able to find the right person.
Yeah, definitely because after 25, she would be wearing Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak and no guy would be able to see her. Hmm…quite possible.
10 are the close neighbors who meet you once in a while and actually have nothing interesting to talk about but marriage. “Shaadi nahi ho rahi?… Kya baat hai?”. 20 are those far-away relatives who behave like professional relationship counselors and believe that caste match is equal to compatibility. And rest 10 are those miscellaneous people who consider themselves gynecologists. They are like:
“You know, infertility is so in and hence, marriage should be done ASAP.”
I ask all the parents, are these PEOPLE so important?
They are killing your daughter’s freedom of choice and that is itself a crime. Parents, do you want to be a part of it as well?
So, why is there a difference of opinions?
The problem lies in the way our society is programmed to think. But who is the programmer here? It’s TIME.
In our parent’s era, even the argument to marry who and when was uncommon. They had to marry the one they were set up with. Fine. Most of the marriages worked. But will the same formula work now?
Now, the programmer is the same, TIME
, but the coding has changed. Love has suppressed every other ritual, norm, system and emotion. One’s choice is one’s choice. Marriage is no more just a personal step ahead but a connecting thread of compatibility, trust and loyalty. Well, I have also seen a lot of troubled marriages where women have suffered by marrying the wrong person all their lives. Earlier, escape was not an option but now, it’s a practice. In today’s time, the urging seed of separation has overpowered the pressure of compromising.
I accept that many caste marriages have worked out well but only those that were not forced. I often heard parents complaining, “Log kya kahenge?”.
Let’s hypothetically imagine a situation: A girl is forced to marry a guy of her caste. The girl sacrificed herself because of fear. Fear that her bond with her parents wiill end if she makes her own choice. The parents are happy because they don’t have not worry about:
‘Log kya kahenge?’.
Unfortunately, the guy ill-treated the woman and abused her. Unable to handle the trauma, the girl asks for divorce. Seeing their daughter suffer everyday, parents finally agree with her decision. I ask, why did the parents now not think of what ‘Log kya kahenge’?
After all, divorced women are looked upon with shame in many places. Because, this time, they realized that there is nothing more important in life than their own daughter’s happiness. If this realization had to come anyways, then, why not before marriage?
Lovers have committed suicides, honor killings are still happening and families have been separated but after all this, society, have you really won?
I think now you know the answer.