Love knows no religion. But religion knows how to kill love. If only love were given a chance, and for a moment religions are thrown into the depths of the ocean, locked in an iron casket, we would realize how much potential we have to create a wonderful world of laughter and flowers. Religion has killed more people in the world than diseases and logical wars and though when we are in the start of being in love, we assume, we can overcome everything, but religion eventually creeps in no matter how less you care for them because you have a family and you are not a rebel. Here are some thoughts that you may relate to if you are a Hindu in love with someone from Islam or you are of any religion but in love with someone who is not of your religion. The list is inspired by my self-experience and there is no exaggeration.
1. You always have a speech ready in your mind You always have a speech in your mind about how you are going to break the ‘scary’ news to your family and make them understand that humanity and love is more important than religion. You polish it, add to it, reduce from it and keep revising year after year. You hope they will understand you the day you tell them, but deep down you know they won’t.
2. You try to find reasons why you should give her up Yes, you do that. You try to play advocate and try to find logical reasons why you should give her up. You tell yourself she is not the only girl in the world and there is a possibility of getting to know someone and fall in love with them the same way from your own religion and life would be simpler.
3. Reasons play in your mind automatically why you should not let her go No matter how much you try to convince yourself to give her up with the strongest of reasons, when you sit down, you know a thousand reasons to not let her go. You know without her you would die in regrets. Dying in regrets is the saddest way to die.
4. You keep procrastinating the day to tell your parents about her
You know you need to tell them about it someday. You had set the date to tell them. The date came and went, but still you didn’t tell them. You are trapped. You are afraid to tell them and you are afraid to lose her.
5. You keep motivating yourself constantly You always keep motivating yourself. After all, this is what is keeping you alive. You tell yourself every morning that this is the only life you will ever have. You were dead a few decades ago and you will be dead again within another few decades and of the billions of years of the earth’s existence, your lifetime seems so meaningless and so are the opinions of others about how you should live your life. You are charged and all set to not give a fuck to anyone’s opinion. But the moment you open the windows, you are nervous again.
6. You try to imagine your life without her and your life without your family. Both are devastating.
You try to think how your life would be without her. You imagine yourself most of the time living alone in your old age. Sad and down. You try to put yourself in shoes of your future self. It breaks you. It feels like you are going to have a regretful life. Sad way to live, isn’t it? It feels like you will be reduced to nothing without her. And then, you try to imagine your life without your family. You know they form a great part of you. You are connected to them by flesh. And even if everyone in the world hates you or gets you wrong, they would always be behind you. You can always count on them. Can you hope to live a life without them? Choosing between love and family is the most devastating decision you can make. There is no happy ending.
7. You leave subtle hints before your parents about your ideas You try to leave hints here and there that you are not very religious and you don’t think of religion when you think of a partner. You try to do an ‘inception’ in your family’s minds about your ideas. You hope it would do some miracle in them. You start talking more with your parents about religion than worries about your family affairs and it does lead to rising of eyebrows.
8. Her style, your style, or court You try to think what kind of marriage you would have. Her style or yours? Or a court marriage would be a better option? Nobody likes that actually. And in the middle of all these, your wish is not important. You want to do marriage according to her faith for her happiness and then you want it your way for your family’s happiness. And you are torn apart. You just want to get married to her. Nothing else matters.
9. You try to hurry to make yourself financially stable because you need to revolt
You are in hurry to improve your finances and make yourself financially stable because despite of all your cowardice, your plan to revolt against the wishes of your family. But before you revolt, you need to make sure you are strong enough to do that.
10. You realize your friends are the most supporting You realize, the generation you belong to is far more flexible and open to interfaith marriage. You know the future is a better and more tolerant place. Your friends seem to not worry about religion. They become your greatest support and they understand you. And society and their norms don’t matter to them unlike your family.
11. You fear of becoming a social outcast You know for sure that the society is never going to accept you and you live in constant fear that you might end up living lonely surrounded by walls. But then it dawns on you that people leave you anyway. In the end, it is her with whom you want to spend your life and as long as she is there, you are not alone.
12. You keep wondering about your future Despite of everything, a small voice in you tells you that you are going to make it. But when you start thinking beyond that, you wonder when you decide to start a family with her, what religion your children are going to follow. Whether Hinduism or Islam? You understand it is going to be a torture for them and often you tell yourself that it is better that you don’t have children. That way, no one is going to suffer after you and this is less selfish too.
13. There is always an uncertainty whether she is going to succumb to the pressures Even if you are sure that she is in love with you, you understand there is always a chance that she might succumb to the pressures from her family and eventually end up leaving you and all your fight will be reduced to nothing. And you cannot keep that thought out of your mind.