We rule the world of giving excuses. We basically invented it. Be it at job or at home, the inherent talent of producing preposterous pleas is possessed and professed by each one of us. They might be funny at times, or convenient, embarrassing or even outright outrageous occasionally. But what matters is – They Work! So, in memory of those golden days, here’s an assortment of the all-time-tried-and-tested-Bahaanaas that have been used all over India over the years.
1. “The bus came before its scheduled time to the bus stop.”
9 out of 10 times, that’s phony. And the one time it’s not, you’d have been late anyways.
2. “There was a marriage function/puja pandal in the colony. So all the roads were blocked.”
This excuse is specially designed to be the last resort of every Indian student. Reason being, it’s often true!
3. “I was absent due to very high fever.” Only in India, very high fevers can come and go in one day.
If only laziness was a medically declared ailment.
4. “Ghar mein Satyanarayan/Subramanya/Gayatri/Shiv Shakti etc. ki puja thi.”
Sometimes a puja in the neighbour’s house also does it.
5. “Mumma washed my uniform and it had not dried up.”
Even if it wasn’t raining yesterday?
6. And sometimes our application for leave would just say “I thought it was Saturday.”
You didn’t even bother to think up an excuse.
7. “I came just half a second late the guard didn’t allow me in.”
Maybe he would have if we’d asked.
8. “Ma’am/Sir auto rickshaw wale bhaiya did not come.”
9. “All the drains and roads were flooded due to the heavy rains.”
This sadly might be true for many places. But that doesn’t stop the rest of us from using that excuse.
10. “Relatives had come to my house and I had to do all the hospitality.”
11. “Ma’am/Sir, I was studying for the coming test.”
And even our friends would say, “Bhagwaan se toh darr saale”.