For 99% of Bongs, life without fish sucks, for the rest 1% life sucks because there is maach, mishti and barely anything more!
1. Your mother reminds you of the big favor she is doing you by cooking an exclusive meal for you.
She will narrate this every day and make you count your blessings for having her in your life. But, God bless on you, on her cranky mood days, when she forces the regular macher jhol bhaat
, she has cooked for the rest of the family down your epiglottis mercilessly!
2. Your Thakuma/Dida simply cannot get over the worry of you being malnutritioned for life.
To her, maach
is the only wholesome food man has managed to discover thus far. How will the poor naati/natni
who loathes it survive life?!?
3. Invitations mean more of free gyan than free food for you.
All your relatives turn self-proclaimed dietitians and leave no stone unturned to explain to you the nutritional benefits of fishes.
4. All your mother talks about at social gatherings is how fussy you have grown to be in comparison to the children of your relatives.
You wretched little troublemaker!
5. And you end up being the butt of family jokes before you know it.
Most of your cousins take pride in separating bones from fishes faster than you verbally asking to refuse to have it, after all!
6. Growing up, you are perennially taunted for not being well-versed in the art of Bajar.
Modern malls may have replaced open markets, but to Bengalis, especially the older generations, bargaining at open markets is not only a hobby but a passion they cannot afford to give up. Yes, bajar
is not a destination implying proper noun but a verb to the quintessential Bengali and any youth (specially a boy) not well versed in it, is worthless, no matter how much the stink of fishes at open markets irk you!
7. People get judgmental about your prospects as a ‘marriage material’.
The knowledge of every edible form of fish invented by mankind is the first eligibility criteria for a Bengali Bride!
8. You pray that you do not have to get married into a ‘typical Bangali’ family.
The kind of family which prefers maacher jhol
for every meal, and considers the daughter-in-law nothing beyond a cook becomes your nightmare after attaining the so called ‘marriageable age’. You dearly miss your vegetarian non-bong ex and wish you had not ever let him go!
9. You finally begin to feel your mom’s pain if your child is fond of fishes.
Although fate blessed you with an understanding hubby/wife and bearable in-laws, your child has been bequeathed with the typical bong taste buds! Can you be cruel enough to deprive him of his favorites?
10. But then you end up becoming the parent all your kid’s friends envy for serving the most offbeat dishes.
90% of your internet history consists of nutritious ‘fishless’ recipes and you are determined to make up for not serving enough fish to your kid! You are the master chef of your kid’s friend circle!