The BDSM Culture Is Not What You Think It Is – 10 Points That Shatter The Myths

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6:37 pm 19 Mar, 2015

The full form of BDSM is Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism but it encompasses more than just that. Recent research and studies have revealed a lot about this lifestyle.

1. It’s hard to figure out how many people chose it.

During a survey in Australia, around 1.3 % of women and 2.2% of men admitted to having tried BDSM, but 64.6% of women and 53.3% of men had fantasies of being sexually dominated, while 46.7% of women and 59.6% of men fantasied about dominating someone sexually. That’s a huge gap between fantasies and reality…if one assumes they were truthful about their sex lives.

2. People who practice it have better psychological health.

According to a study, BDSM practitioners have lower levels of depression, anxiety, PTSD, sadism, paranoia, neuroticism, etc. They showed higher levels of conscientiousness, extraversion, and willingness to try new things. While they scored less in agreeableness, one thing is sure – popular perception, with its focus on kink being a sign of mental disorder, is wrong.

 

[Read more: Sex & Partying Makes You Happier. More than Children and Religion Says a Study]

3. Role-play can be a liberating and stress-relieving act.

BDSM usually involves a degree of role-play, with both (or more) parties agreeing to act out their fantasies to a certain limit. Around 76% women like to be dominated, as compared to 34% of men who are into submission. Therefore, whips, gags, ropes, etc are often part of the act, but there is immense psychological release during a BDSM session.

4. The submissive is the one who lays down the rules.

Since the submissive partner is taking the greater risk, they are the ones who get to decide how and to what degree the session will go. There are safe words that can be said if things start getting out of hand. Though some people do sign contracts, as shown in 50 Shades, they are not that common and are signed between people who trust each other.

5. Most people choose the role that compliments their nature.

There is a mistaken belief that people use BDSM to “become” a different person. Though some people might like being both Dom and Sub (known as ‘switches’), most people choose the role they’re already comfortable with. So a man who is dominant in real life will most likely prefer to be a dominant sexual partner.

6. It leads to a closer relationship with your partner.

To be a practitioner of BDSM means first, that you need to have major trust in your partner; where you know they will be able to toe the line between pain and pleasure without going overboard. It’s no wonder that marriage counselors often recommend role-play and BDSM to couples who’re looking to work on their marriages.

7. It allows you to enter an altered state of consciousness.

In a study, researchers found that subs entered an altered state called ‘transient hypofrontality’, which leads to reduced pain, floating sensations, peace as well as a sense of time distortion. Dominants entered an altered state called ‘flow’, which allows them to have greater focused attention, loss of self-consciousness and ability to complete tasks optimally.

8. It is not always about sexual pleasure or pain.

Sometimes BDSM is used as a means to help people deal with something traumatic that happened to them. A woman who is raped might try out the same scenario as the rape in a BDSM session; only in the second one, she has control and can stop or take a break whenever she wants. It can be a way to heal from past hurts.

9. It can be between 2 or between many.

There are groups where people try out BDSM practices on each other. Often, partners will go together to show how strong a control they have on their sub or how completely they trust their dom, but sometimes sessions can involve many people. It is not always sexual as someone can choose to just be whipped by many people.

10. There are a lot of forms of BDSM.

All practitioners have their choices and know the ones that they would never, ever try. Light spanking is something that all BDSM practitioners have tried but tamakeri, a Japanese fetish that involves kicking men in the balls, is something that only a few men would like to try in reality. In the wide range of human erotic interests, BDSM is just one.

 

[Read more: The 12 Sun Signs’ Attitudes towards Casual Sex and Romantic Flings13 Things That Happen in Porn but Not in Real life ]

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