“On behalf of the American people, I urgently implore you to take us back. Clearly, the options we have to lead us aren’t up to par. Again, please, I beg of you, make the United States of America a colony of the United Kingdom. For further reasons as to why this is such a necessary, albeit drastic, step, I refer to tonight’s Republican Party Primary debate. Thank you. God save The Queen.”
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“I have been asked to write in response to your recent letter to The Queen in which you express your views about the American government. Whilst your views have been noted, you will appreciate, I am sure, that there can be no question of The Queen intervening in the affairs of another Sovereign state.”